


Chocolates and Blue Peppermints

by Terri



Series: Chocolates and Blue Peppermints [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Abuse, Adopted Children, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Depression, Drinking to Cope, Drug Dealing, F/F, F/M, Gender Issues, Humanstuck, Incestous Wanting, M/M, Neglect, Schizophrenia, Trigger Warnings, schizo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2017-11-07 21:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 33,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/435797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terri/pseuds/Terri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat just wants something to go his way. John just wants to hide his secrets, while trying to make his father proud, which seems to be very nearly impossible as of late. Gamzee just wants to keep the breaking pieces of his friend together.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Be The Grape Jelly Covered Toddler

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not that good of a writer and this is an attempt at a good Johnkat story. I am seriously very sorry if I mess up something or offend anyone!! I try to do research, but that's still not a guarantee I won't write something stupid or offensive. Feel free to comment on it and call anything out or give me tips. Thanks for reading!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all began when Gamzee met a crying, and bruised Karkat in a sandbox when they were five and had been together ever since.  
> EDITED

Walking towards the park sandbox with a small plastic bucket, and your puppet named Cal inside, you see him. One of the cutest little 'truckers' you've ever seen, sniffling in the sandbox, trying not to cry. You aren't really sure what calling someone a trucker means, but your dad has called almost everybody it, including yourself, so you do too. He sees you coming and attempts to hide himself by twisting his head away, only managing to get more sand into his poofy hair. As you throw your chubby little leg over the box wall to climb inside, he stares at you with pretty brownish-red eyes, you think he was trying to glare at you.  
Instead of leaving him alone and giving him space, like most kids your age would, you simply smile. You wrap your arms around him, and make Cal gets in on all the trucking love. You make sure you throw his limpy arms around him too. His arms flail at first, he begins to scream and tries to push you away. But you're stronger and you can tell he really doesn't want you to go, because he needs a hug, the best kind of magic there is. You start to shoosh him, and you pat his sandy hair down to calm him, eventually he starts mumbling about you being some 'weird and strange butt that will probably kidnap him the second he closes his eyes' but he eventually hugs back. You ask his name when you feel him give a final hiccup and sigh around you.

" 'm Karkat."

You smile, and your clown face paint chips off a little.

"Gamzee. And now you're my momma trucking friend."

You have a little difficulty saying that because you're smiling too wide, but you figure he understood when he bobs his head up and down, getting sand everywhere. Today is a day of momma trucking miracles and magic, and you just hope you can get one of those little microwavable pies for free at the gas station for you and your new bro. Today was the first day you made a friend by yourself.


	2. Be The Same Grape Jelly Covered Toddler But Older

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat woke up, expecting to have a great day, not to be thrusted into the world alone again. And his deodarant gets stolen. Gamzee isn't sure how to handle the deodarant thing, his bro gets pretty musty at times.  
> EDITED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this entire thing  
> I wrote it in one go at 1 in the morning. Nope that's not even a valid excuse. Argh

"Best motherfucker."

You look at Karkat's back as he struggles to pull his jeans over his butt. You're hanging upside down on his shabby excuse for a bed. Apparently he didn't hear you, so you call him again.

"Motherfucking best bro."

No response.

"Fucking mother best. Best fucking mother. Mother best fucking." You honked as a worn shoe hits you head.

"Do you even know what you're even saying anymore asshole? Oh wait, you never knew to begin with. What is it, Gamzee? " You let a lazy smile paint your face as you watch your best friend turn to face you with a scowl. Using your hands for emphasis you tell him about the genius idea you just had.

"Pie. You should all up and get a fucking pie for the little blind chica." Karkat groans and sighs before turning around to do some wondrous thing worthy of your bro's attention.

"Gamzee, that 'blind chica' is my GIRLFRIEND for fucks sake, and don't call her blind. That's fucking offensive." You reply with a honk and he groans more.

"Dude, you just need to chill out. All those blasphemous groans are going to burn a hole through your sad little thinking pan. Enjoy the beautiful rays of life. All your motherfuckin' brain buddies are all goin' 'AH! Help us Gamzee! We're all motherfucking tired and need some of those bites of Heaven from some beautiful shit called pie with miraculous apple filling!'" Apparently pie wasn't the answer to getting your buddy to put a smile on his face.  
 

"Gamzee, if I buy you some of that sugary shit you love so much while I'm out with Terezi, will you stick around? She would really like to meet the douche rag I consider my best friend." He crosses his arms and you roll off the bed. He watches your drunken looking stumble over to him and you place an arm over his stressed shoulders. You know how happy it'd make him, but you can't. So you throw him a sympathetic smile and let a barely audible honk slip from grey painted lips. He nodded and lightly punched your stomach before knocking your arm off. You remembered why you couldn't 'show' yourself to your amigo's best girl before you let yourself become sad. Most of it was because you were scared. You just want Karkat to be happy and right now, meeting Terezi would probably mess things up for him right now. You love him and would rather have him be sulky than heartbroken.

You follow him faithfully down the stairs, trying to mock his ninja styled stealthiness. Pieces of the flaking puke green wallpaper, that you think might be concealing maggots and such, float down and attach themselves to Karkat's black sweater. As the stairs creak under his weight, you're thankful that even though it's not that cold outside today, it's still Autumn and that is a valid excuse for him to wear sweaters. It was always somewhat amusing to see the weird glances he gets for wearing dark colored, long sleeved sweaters in the Summer. You hope, as you come to the bottom of the stair case, that 'Mr.Vantas', the name even his son calls him by, is asleep, or out. Just anything but drunk. Dealing with verbal cut downs was hard, but a lot more explainable than having a black eye because the fucker couldn't practice a little abstinence. You know the problem is a lot deeper than that, but it just seems more unjustifiable when you don't address the real reason. You're both still kids, you're allowed to be a little immature at times. Or at least that's what someone said at school. You don't really pay attention at school, but Karkat does, and he's pretty good at whatever he does. You think, well, when he yells at you for being useless in school, he makes it sound like he's really great at it. And you don't doubt your bro for one milli-fucking-second. Oh, you got off track again, you do that a lot. Anyway a swollen eye was going to be hard for your little buddy to explain to his justice loving, not blind, chica who was just a girlfriend without any knowledge of his situation. Yeah, that would be a lot worse.

Luckily for the both of you, he's not around, so as you watch Karkat flicked his apartment door off, you chuckle a bit. You keep trying to tell him that releasing all that bad energy towards his innocent door is going to karma-ize and come back to bite him in his rainbow colored ass. After that he usually flicked you off before stalking off, mumbling about how his ass was not colorful. He rolls his eyes at your sounds of merriment and leads you outside the anti-health death trap he calls an apartment building, but he agrees with you, it's a horrible place to live.

The scent of a sweet smoke fills your noses as you both walk past some weird guy that suspiciously had his face covered, wearing a plain blue hoodie. Karkat doesn't seem to notice him, or if he does, he doesn't care. But you do. There's something you don't like about him, you don't know why, but something about him makes you nervous. You don't like being nervous, or the overly sweet smelling cigarette smoker. You hope Karkat never gets the chance to talk to him.

After a few blocks of silent walking, because bus fare is 'too fucking much when it's only a thirty minute walk,' you drop your pace like usual. You spot the righteous chica, that isn't blind whatsoever, sitting on the park bench, swatting at what you assume must have been a flock a birds before she pulled out the cane.

"Terezi!" Karkat runs to her as you slip behind the wall of an old, abandoned store, far enough out of sight, but close enough to make sure everything would be alright. You're fully content watching your buddy smile at the 'girl of my fucking dreams with an even better ass.'

Karkat often comments that what you do is creepy, but you never really reply to that. You only want his 612% happiness. You say that because his birthday is June twelfth and birthdays are miracles that should be used as a symbol of absolute happiness. Or something like that. You've got to stop getting off track like that. Point is, if you could, you would kill anyone that hurt your crabby friend because he is your world.

Throughout the whole ten minutes or so you've been here, Karkat kept searching for you, like the caring person he is. Though the little, not blind, chica didn't seem to agree on your thoughts.

"Karkat, are you okay?" Karkat stops looking for you after he sees you wave.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. What were you saying?" She sighs and moves her hand from his. They're still sitting on the same park bench from before, which means there's probably going to be what Karkat calls 'a shitty talk.'

"I said, I don't think... this is going to work anymore." Karkat visibly jumps as he throws his full attention at her. You wish so badly you could do something, but you can't and being useless is pissing you off.

"Wait. You're not talking about the super cheap dates are you? She lets out a strained laugh at his attempt to get off subject. She tilts her head in your direction. That seems extremely stupid to you, as she can't see his heart broken face in the first fucking place.

"No, Kark, Karkat. I mean us."

His voice is strained as he manages to croak out a 'why.'

"You, you don't even pay attention to me anymore. You're always daydreaming or distracted by something. At first I thought it was cute, but now, it's...frustrating. We can't even hold a ten minute conversation anymore without you spacing out and when we do it's always awkward and weird! It's...hard. It's hurting me. I can't even have a normal conversation with my so called 'boyfriend' without me having to repeat everything I say every five minutes. It feels like you aren't even in this relationship anymore! Like we're just in the same place at the same time, all the time! And I'm tired of it Karkat!" She inhales before finishing.

"And all the conversations we manage to have are online and even then all we do is argue with each other! I don't like hearing this grey sounding, monotone computer voice lifelessly yelling at me! I, I need attention, Karkat, and... you aren't giving me that. And I'm not sure you ever did."

You notice Karkat's face is filled with anger but you know on the inside he's miserable.

"So when you called saying we needed to meet it wasn't to say some cheesy shit like you love me, huh?" The bitch laughed. Fucking laughed.

"Karkat, I DO love you, just more as a..."

"A friend."

"Yeah...a friend, a really good friend. But, I don't think we should have ever started dating in the first place, we're just not...compatible."

"So you're saying you regret EVERYTHING?! Am I that fucking PITIABLE that you've only stayed this long because you felt SORRY for me?! That I'm such a social FUCK UP you knew no one else would take the time to even look at my hideous mug?!" She hit Karkat in the head with her cane and sighed, you wanted to bust her skull open.

"No! I never even said anything like that! I just said that because after this it's not going to go back to the way we were before. See...this...you can't even be mature enough to handle this without going back to downgrading yourself to try to win people over. Doing that is not going to get people to like you, it's a sad tactic. Karkat, that's not always going to work for you! Grow up!"

"I AM a failure, Terezi! I'm not trying to 'win' anybody over! I'm telling the DAMNED TRUTH when I say I'm a fucked up person! I can't even hold on to the one person I love, and thought cared for me back!

Karkat had been standing up now, glaring into eyes that couldn't see his miserableness. Terezi's face was turned towards you and you could see tears running down her face. Like she had something to be sad about. She sighed again.

"I DO care for you! Just not in the way you want me to! I already SAID that! You are making this into a bigger deal than it really is! And you're not a failure! Stop falling back on that! We're just not good together. And it's not fair for you to try to make me feel guilty like this. Or for me to be in this half assed relationship or you to pretend there's something still here." Both heads turn as a girl with long black hair and ripped jeans walk up to them, her high heeled boots clicking for their attention.

"Vriska can you PLEASE, be a fucking bitch somewhere else for a while? Me and your sister are talking." The girl grinned and scoffed.

"That sounds more like you getting owned than talking. Besiiiiiiiides, Rezi asked me to come." Karkat moved his attention back to Terezi again. Without seeing the confusion on your bro's face she explained.

"I called her up to come get me while I was trying to talk to you, but you didn't even notice did you? That's what I was talking about."  
Standing up she started to walk off before the Vriska bitch pushed her in the right direction.

"Bye, Karkat."

"Byeee Loser!" The few obnoxious laughs were silenced by Terezi's cane as they walked off.

You walked your blubbering best friend home, content with having a 'feelings jam' when you got to his apartment, and only being able to offer a few assuring words.

"You didn't fucking need her bitch ass. You don't need her. You're fine, I'm here motherfucking best friend and that's all you need." By the time you reached his apartment, he had calmed down. Until he saw his apartment had been broken into.

"FUCK!!"


	3. Be The Most Detestable Character In This Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is John Egbert and you are the worst.  
> EDITED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The names for John's siblings are from the "pets".  
> Casey = Casey  
> Roy = Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer (Casey)  
> Spen(cer) = Dr. Meowgon Spengler (Vodka Mutini)  
> Nate = Nakodile  
> :1 yeah...

You are the worst ever. No doubt about it. You just broke into some poor person's apartment and stole everything you could; food, plates, clothes, soap. And that thought about shitting on their bed! Ugh, you're horrible. But, you don't feel guilty about stealing the soap though, some of your little brothers were starting to get really ripe, really fast. Your dad would not be proud of you, even though he would take what you brought him out of necessity for the kids. But he would not be proud at all. Before, when you were little, he'd make you return the littlest things; a piece of candy, a small toy from a dollar store, even those shiny little rocks you'd kicked across the sidewalk from people's front yards. Stealing was wrong and not tolerated under his household. But the addition of four kids and the lack of a steady job had broken him. He didn't at accept it at first, no, he would punish you when you got caught stealing the other kids lunches for your brothers and sister in sixth grade. Seventh grade he'd scold you for getting caught trying to break into a gas station. Eighth grade, he'd just look at you with sad, disappointed and defeated eyes and take the pilfered bag of groceries you shoved at him, scolding yourself for looking so triumphant with a terrible deed. Now, well, now he'd take whatever you gave him, put it somewhere others like you wouldn't find it easily, and leave the house for a few hours. You thought about lying, to claim that you had honestly obtained these needed things just to see if some worry would reduce the wrinkles in his forehead. But that was stupid, he'd never believe that, you don't even believe that.

Your name is John Egbert and you are the worst.

"Joooohn! John!"

  
You're woken up by a three pairs of grubby midget hands pulling and tugging your hair. Without your glasses, that you inherited from your dad and have been wearing since middle school, everything is basically blurs moving in front of more blurs. You can recognize your brothers, even though you could hear all three VERY CLEARLY. Goodness, these rascals had some mouths on them! And you could smell them even with your back turned to them. Your sorry attempts at shrugging them off fail as you turn BACK around on the bed you share with the smallest of your siblings; your little sister. You grope around, aiming for the floor to find your glasses, as you have no nightstand. That was destroyed in a an accident with the twins. You pat the head of the angel that hands you your glasses for you and you sit up, swinging your legs and lightly knocking the boys down like bowling pins. As they erupt in laughter, you realize Casey was the one who gave you your spectacles. You smile at her and signal for her to come and sit on your lap. You watch as she climbs onto the bed with her chubby legs and places herself in front of you. She didn't talk much, and was pretty reserved, but you two understood each other and had a system down. You tell the guys to hush and ask them where you dad is.

"Kitchen."

"Outside."

"Space! PCHOOOO!!"

You and Casey share a look as you both contemplate the sanity of her twin. Roy was always, a little special.  
Casey and Roy were both the youngest at six, both little blue eyed blonds were as different as different could get. While Casey was pretty mature and quiet, choosing to spend time either alone or with you, wearing too large tee shirts with belts to pretend they were princess dresses, Roy was spontaneous and wild, and sometimes, well, questions of therapy were often discussed, despite money issues. Spen, short for Spencer, was second youngest at eight and was the more reliable one out of the four. He liked to fiddle around with the few Game Boy Advances you got him, always figuring out ways to make the batteries last a little longer. With black, curly hair similar to your own, and brown eyes, he was the tallest of them all, no doubt he'd be taller than you someday. Nate, the oldest at ten, had light brown hair that almost seemed red in light and brown eyes and was the shortest. He liked helping your dad in the kitchen, often licking the foul Betty Crocker batter out of the discarded bowls while your dad baked or helping Nanna in her store.

You hated Betty Crocker products. Not only because the stuff tasted like sugary shit, but because you miss the REAL cakes your dad made before the money started wearing thin and since the habit of torturing kids with cake hadn't been able to wear away with the money, he went with a fast and cheap, fifty cent alternative. You still get pushed to eat the stuff, just like nothing changed, but YOU can taste the difference. It tastes like sadness, poverty, and fifty cents. Though the metallic taste might've been from the rusty pans the cakes were being baked in. That was probably it. You blame BCC for breaking apart your family, and for the lack of money and for your neighborhood's sad conditions, and your buckteeth that are NOT adorable as your snarky friend says because apparently Amy Andrews doesn't agree, AND for that D+ you got on that test you studied two weeks for! Yeah, ok, you admit that's all pretty stupid, because BCC is only a food industry, AS FAR AS YOU KNOW, and almost none of that could ever relate to them. But you need SOMETHING to blame all your troubles on and that is a pretty easy target.

You TOTALLY just blanked out and heard nothing of what poor little Spen was saying, shame on you. You look down at his disapproving face and sheepishly shrug, they were used to you drifting off, they had even started calling you airhead along with your friends. "I'm sorry Spen, what did you say?"  
He sighs like he's ten years older and rolls his eyes.

"I SAID we're hungry and we need to go to school and we can't find daddy." You loved how they insisted on calling Dad "Daddy." They are adorable. You lift Casey off your lap and set her on the creaky floor as you stand up. Running a hand through your hair, you stretch in an attempt to ward off sleepiness.

"Ok, but what time is it?"  
 

Roy smiles at you and shouts, "SEVEN THIRTY!!"  
You look at Spen and he nodded to confirm. You almost cussed in front of the kids.  
You grab Casey, and tell the boys to follow you as you run out of the room you, Casey, and Roy share and down the steps. Because you are wearing your dad's too large socks, you end up slipping a few times before you reach the end of the stairs, but you manage to keep the two of you in one piece. You sit Casey down in a chair at a table and the boys do the same as you slide into the kitchen, this time falling flat on your face. You really need to get some fitting socks. You find bread and pop it into an ancient toaster and start cutting up a just barely edible apple. You rummage inside the old fridge and find there's still a thing of turkey sausage left from last week. You pull it out and start to fry it at the highest temperature your stove can go and cut it into five chunks. You take toast out the toaster and replace with two more slices before buttering the previous pieces. You check the time by looking at the small clock hanging on the wall by the door; seven forty five. The kids needed to get to their school by eight thirty and you needed to get into homeroom by nine, but you could afford to be late. You shout orders for the boys to get toothbrushes and toothpaste and towels and to start brushing their teeth and washing their faces as Casey took a bath, then they would rotate between eating.

You grabbed your own breakfast, shoving it in your mouth, as you headed out the door with, finally, clean and clothed kids and locked the door behind you. You shouted a bye to your dad, just in case he was in calling range and picked up the twins. It would be faster if they didn't slow them down. You walked the kids to their classrooms, saying hello to all the children, who somehow, had taken a liking to you even more than your own siblings, and then ran almost half way across town to your own school; Saint John's High school. Yeah, you got a lot of jokes about how this was really your school, but what could you say? John was a pretty common name, just not around your town you guess. Again, your head was in the clouds as you bump into someone a lot taller than you. You notice they have a red jacket on, and immediately assume it's your best friend. You laugh and pick up your bag and talk before a long winded speech comes your way.

"Oh, hey Dave! Sorry, I wasn't paying attention again. My bad." You don't notice that this is not Dave in front of you before you hug said 'not Dave.'

"Do I LOOK like the shit eating asshole named Dave Strider to you, ass wipe?" Oops. You look at the 'not shit eating asshole named Dave Strider' from your hugging position and realize this guy is way too grumpy to be Dave and too uncool to be him to, even though Dave was a dork and not cool at all.

"Oh, sorry man! I didn't mean to run into you! I thought you were my buddy Dave so I just hugged you! Sorry." You smile at him and he frowns deeper as he looks down at you. You can clearly spot the dark bags under his eyes, his crimson eyes? Woah, that was new! You think it's pretty cool how light affects eyes, that's why you like science.  
 

"Don't care. Watch where you're going and don't hug people with your gross, puny arms before looking at the victim first at least." Woah, that was a little too far. Your arms weren't puny, you did push ups twice a day, everyday. They were just "lean", not puny.

"Ok dude. Sooorry." You let him past as you adjust yourself and you hear him mumble. You are pretty sure he just said "Come on, we're going to be late."  
  
You look around and notice it's only you two and that the bell will ring soon. So you follow his lead as he starts to sprint into the land of KNOWLEDGE and SHIT, or LOKAS, as you and you're friends call the school. An insider from a game you and your friends used to play as kids.

"Why are you following me!?!" You are pretty sure you aren't following him, your homeroom just happens to be in the same direction as he's going.

"I'm not! My class is this way! But you did say to come on." He looks back at you with a disapproving scowl and returns to stomping. You wonder if it's fun or something to act like that as you mock him behind his back, gaining a few giggles from other passerbyers. It's not, but it's fun to mock him. He whips his head around and catches you; prankster gambit plummets as he smacks your head.

"No, I DIDN'T tell you to "come on" in a 'friendly' manner as though we actually KNEW each other, and even if we DID know each other, I would not be 'friends' with you. And what is your problem?! Are you mentally inept? If you are I apologize." You laugh and try to respond just as the bell rings and you both dash into the same room. Oh. So you both have the same homeroom. This was going to be interesting, this guy seemed like fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Ok so the original plan was to rewrite an original work of mine, but things got out of hand! So I'm literally just writing this on a whim? Kinda? There's no or at the very least, little planning or setting up this story. So I'm writing from chapter to chapter and I will try to write a chapter once every week or every two weeks. As soon as I'm able to, I will be drawing character profiles and such, so you can see what I see when I'm writing! I will link back to my tumblr when they come. Also chapters will be around about 2000 words? Unless I come up with something that needs to be shorter. Sorry for short chapters.  
> Thank you for reading :D


	4. Continue Being The Dumb Worst Character

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we learn John really REALLY thinks Dave is super LAME and olives are the fucking evilest, after super villain Rose of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://terristuck.tumblr.com/post/28070220791#notes  
> I'll probably do a better, more informative version of him later. I tag everything with CBP or Chocolates and Blue Peppermints.

"He's just a little rough around the edges!"  
You try to defend your new 'never in a million years will I be 'friends' with you, you sick fuck' buddy as you pick from the real Dave's lunch. But not the apple juice, you will NEVER attempt to take that small box of piss resembling goodness. That was totally off limits, ever since one of your first movie nights. Needless to say many boxes and bottles labeled apple juice were filled with 'not apple juice' and passed around. Thankfully as a GREAT PRANKSTER, you could see past any prank and Dave was not very good at them, not at all. You actually think Dave and Karkat are a little bit similar, they both don't ever shut up! You tell him this as he shoots you a look. You think, the guy has sunglasses on! You know, the ones you fucking bought, with real actual money, for him?  
He fakes a gasp and puts the back of his hand on his forehead. 

"Dear me! You would compare me to that low life scoundrel! Simply atrousicious! A fine, precious litlle thing like me should not have to hear such drivel. Of all of my days, why I've never heard such an insult! It's as you've almost told me I was the most hideous thing on earth with the blackest of hearts." He stops his Texan lady, high pitched voice, which is pretty high, to let you and your friends stop giggling. Well, one of your other friends, Rose didn't really giggle, so much as 'chuckle,' which you think is pretty creepy. Who even really chuckles? But even though her chuckling was weird and creepy, you loved Rose! In a sisterly way though!! You both had already tackled that when you were younger. Dave and Jade used to joke about how you two would get married one day and live happily ever after. You had admitted she was very pretty, and really nice and sometimes had made you blush, but you didn't want to marry her. She was kind of too grown up for you, and still is! You both agreed to never 'fall for each other in deep, sappy love' as younger Dave put it, though you can openly admit that Rose is getting prettier very fast. She's one of your best friends and you really care for her, but sometimes she likes to pick at sore spots, not on purpose, but because of her unhealthy need of analyzing people's minds. 

Jade, however, is very cool! And fun! She's not so much into pranks as you, but you think she's a lot like you. She's almost like a big sister, you know, if she was related to you! Which would be pretty cool, actually! She's pretty well known around the 'hood' for kicking ass and for lugging around shot guns. Sometimes, she catches you as you're about to go 'raiding.' She is the only one of your buddies that know what you do. She wears the same expression as your dad but drags you with her to a supermarket and buys the things you need. Her grandpa, who owns plenty of businesses and travels a lot, is very rich. Though, you aren't sure why he allows Jade to live in this dangerous and shoddy community. Maybe because of their mutual love of adventure? But even though she seems intimidating, she's really actually pretty silly and nice and childish! But even though you like your own fair share of animes, this girl likes them way too much. Her room is covered in furrie posters, some knock off japanese tentacle plushie things, and just cute anime stuff EVERYWHERE. Yeah, she's a special friend, but she's the only one of your buds who can actually laugh like a normal person, like now! 

Dave, who you are, like 99% sure isn't as cool as he tries to seem, is your best bro. You say 99% because, what if he was really cool, and he used his dorkiness as a cover up so no one would see the cool, instead of him being a doofus and using the cool act as a cover up. Or what if he was hiding behind the idea that he was a dork and was trying to be cool when he really was! Wait, no, this is already confusing. You are NOT going to run yourself into circles like that. You're a little too smart for that, yeah. Anyway, he's your best bro and you two talk about everything and anything, though sometimes, with serious conversations where he's not willing to break the cool kid persona (WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT BE A COVER UP OR A COVER UP OF A COVER UP), it gets a little hard to get through his thousand word sentences, whether he needs help or you need it. Unknowingly to Jade and Rose, you both tried to do the dating thing, even though you aren't gay at all! But you thought, and still do, think Dave is pretty hot, and makes a good boyfriend, but you both equally decided the relationship was kind of awkward and ended it. But you're still best bros for life! No matter how uncool he is! And you'll be there for him anytime he needs you. 

Speaking of Dave, you drifted off again. You've got to stop doing that! You try to make it seem as though you were intently listening, and not thinking about random things again. You really don't need Rose to start something today. You squint your eyes in an attempt to seem like you're really 'concentrating' on the words of your bro. He turns his head towards you and rests his chin on the heel of his palm.  
"Seriously, dude, don't get involved with him. I've heard about some of the shit he's in. Like, 'oh my gawd' deep shit. Seems pretty unstable from afar too. Just keep the friendly, yet naive Egbert body in one piece. I got a really bad feeling about him. Plus I still owe you a beat down for drifting off while the Strider talks to you. You got me feeling like one of the geeks over here, pay your bro some attention."

"Dave, he's just another kid. He's probably just another victim of rumors, like you! You know, how people think you're intimadating and full of 'swag,' emphasis on think."  
He shakes his head and you push his warning far out of your head, because, seriously, no one is as bad as you are. You steal from the poor and keep it for yourself. Instead of Robin Hood, you're the evil king. What was he, again? A weasel, or a bear? Maybe a lion. Yeah, you're pretty sure the Disney version had him as a lion. So, you're just a lion, and even though they seem really cool and everyone loves them, they're just awful. Just like you. But you kind of wish you had as much hair as a lion, then you could be even more in character when watching one of your favorite movies! 

You laugh softly to yourself, even though no one's talking to you at the moment, so you probably seem weird, but your friends are used to it by now. You're getting more and more away from yourself, personality wise, because you worry about them finding out. They will probably always be there for you, probably, but you don't think you could ever handle seeing the same distraught and disappointed look in Dave and Rose's eyes that both your dad and Jade have when they see you walking towards the other side of town with a group of kids you would never usually hang around with. That would most likely be the worst outcome, ever. So for your sake, for your brothers' sake, for Casey's sake, and you're friends' sake, you're not ever going to let anyone else know. Deep down, you add that into your mental jar of secrets, ones no one should ever know about, ones you will guard from everyone. You mean, it's not like keeping secrets from people is bad, right? Everyone has secrets they like to keep under wraps. You just have a bigger share of them, and you just can't let anyone know for the life of you. 

But you won't let this affect you, you'll just keep playing the airhead. The funny guy, the one people can lean on, a good friend, a good son, and the good student. Even if you're not really all of those things, as long as you pretend, it'll all be fine. So what if you have to live with knowing you're living a lie? As long as your friends and family are proud of you, for the most part, and safe, you can do it. You will do it, for as long as you can manage. You could do anything for them, you trust them and they trust you. So why fix something that isn't completely broken?

You pick one of those weird black olives out of Jade's salad. When you say 'weird,' you really mean it. You swear those things have little faces on them. And they mock you. They mock you by seeming really weird, but they taste so good, damn those olives, trying to make you go crazy. It's the same with her fruit too! ESPECIALLY, the fruit. But every time you try to point it out, the faces always disappear. So, you don't mention it anymore, since Rose is like some mental problem bloodhound. Always ready to throw you in those weird chairs you can't sit down in, but they probably make a really nice bed, and dig through your mind. With needles, yeah, she could be some kind of super villian, with knitting needles. You must have said this out loud because Dave was half smirking in the way only he could, Jade was giggling again, but super loud, and Rose was grinning at you. Hopefully she was geniunely grinning because it was funny and not because she was planning your demise. She was good at that. You smile real big at her and uncontrollably fall into the infectious laughter that Jade started. 

You have the best Best Friends ever, and you won't ever do anything to hurt them. Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://terristuck.tumblr.com/post/28070220791#notes  
> I'll probably do a better, more informative version of him later. I tag everything with CBP or Chocolates and Blue Peppermints.


	5. Be The Guy More Than A Little Rough Around The Egdes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eridan and Karkat have a sleepover and paint each other's nails or at least Eridan tries.

You are currently running to the house of one of the richest assholes in your town. All because some idiot couldn't tell the difference between Someone with or without money based on their obvious living conditions.

But you guess it's partially your fault. You don't really know exactly how it's your fault, but everything that happens to you is your fault. You're just a major fuckup. Like what happened with Terezi. After you stopped crying your eyes out like a god dammed pansy, you realized Terezi was fucking right, as always. You DIDN'T pay attention to her, even though you loved her to death. You were just satisfied that she was yours and no one else's. You didn't care about her feelings, you never even thought there were feelings to be HAD. 

During summer breaks, she would go out of town with her family. You would go for weeks without talking to her, and you'd ignore her messages. Sure, for the first week or so you'd stay up until three talking to her over chat programs, or on YouTube videos that no one would ever look at or had looked at in years. A few times you had even called her at one in the morning, joking around, making fun of her when she had to pretend to be sleep and tried to make snoring sounds when her mother checked in on her. But gradually over time, the strong need to talk to her or to just hear her voice, whether or not she really said anything, slowly faded. When she messaged you, you hardly ever replied back, and you admit you might have been an ass the few times she did manage to talk to you. You weren't worried. 

You never stopped caring for her, you were just fine with the fact that Terezi Pyrope was Karkat Vantas's and no one else could touch her, and that she wouldn't look at anyone else. But you weren't thinking about how she felt. It must've seemed like you were ignoring her, without any reason, even though you weren't. That explains her attitude towards you when she came back on the first day back to school. The fourteen month relationship only lasted for a little less than a month after that, sadly. And that wasn't even the worst thing you did to her, you're a moron. You'd be spending the holidays alone because of your own idiocy. 

You've never known how exactly how to handle people. People always come to you for advice, though. Mostly about romance, how ironic is it you can handle others' relationships when you can't even keep your own. You gave, well give, great advice. You are the fucking school master of the learning facility called 'LOVE.' No one knew or researched as much as you have on the complicated subject. If researching meant spending years worth of time watching every romance flick you could get online for free, and staying up until early mornings with snack foods and boxes of tissues as your company. But even though you knew the ends and outs of almost every type of relationship and how each person would react, you couldn't use that with real people! 

It's almost as though everyone on Earth is here to make you look like an idiot and not do the things they're supposed to do. When you used to play multiplayer videogames with your friends and you were the leader? No respect. Everyone just shit on your position and died. Except Sollux, Terezi, and Vriska. Sollux is just a fucking genius at things like that, though you'll never tell him that, EVER. You aren't even really sure if you two are friends all the time. Things between you two are weird and just another example at how people don't do what they're supposed to in your relationships. Terezi is a scary specimen at games involving murder or anything she can judge, you don't want to get into that because that shit is scary and unbelievable. Blind girls who can't even see the screen shouldn't enjoy the screams of tiny computer people while licking the screen, confessing that she can taste their 'cherry red blood.' Yeah, never to be discussed. Vriska, like her lovable, yet maniacal sister, was also insane at those types of games. But you expect it from her; she runs one of the most dangerous gangs in town: the Blue Webs. It was a stupid name, but they made up for it in strength, you suppose. You aren't totally sure if Terezi and their parents know, but you're certain at least Vriska's mother is proud. 

\---

You finally reach the whiney asshole's house. You figure that as long as you agree to give him advice, you can weasel into being able to stay over a few nights until your dad calms down, or at least forgets about it. You take care of him more than he does you it seems like, and your friends take care of you more than you do as their 'leader.' 

You walk up to his house door and knock, already hearing his weird accent. He was arguing with someone inside as he opened the door for you.   
" and I'm not! And she's not evven awware of you're existence you asshole! Oh. Hey, Kar." You nodded and tried to look past him, he was a lot taller than you, but then again you were just short.   
"Who are you talking to?" He scoffed and opened his mouth to speak, interrupted by a crash and yelling.  
"Eridan! Get back in here and don't you EVER disrespect me like that again!!" Said disrespectful teenager frowned and grabbed your hand instead, pulling you into the house. You closed the door behind you, not caring to lock because no one with a head on their shoulders would try breaking in. 

You're taken into a violet bedroom, not that it's any surprise. It's been that way for all the ten years the small house has been here. It even matches the rest of the house. No one was dumb enough to not know what this pompous little shit's favorite color was. Except maybe Gamzee. They both liked purple and they got along just fine, sadly. You wonder about your choice in friends sometimes. You sit on a purple, surprise, surprise, beanbag and he sits on his bed, sighing as it moves under him. Wait, it jiggled. He had fucking bought a water bed since the last time he came over. Damn rich people. 

"So wwhat's up Kar? I'm pretty sure you're not here to do the garden wwork. Wwhich, really needs to get done, to be honest."

"No, idiot. Dad's kinda flipping out. Wanted to know if I could crash here a few days?" You watched your feet as you waited for a reply, man your feet sure were interesting. 

"Sure, Kar. You knoww I'd nevver say no ta you. I thought wwe wwere cool enough for you ta knoww that wwithout askin'. Mind if I ask wwhy you're dad's flippin' out?"

"Because you used too many fucking 'wwords' with w's in them. Seriously, do you know how stupid that sounds? I thought you were paying some nut job to fix that?" He shrugged and rested his chin in his hand, propped up by his weirdly pointy knee. 

"Hey, don't criticize me an' my wway of speakin' wwhen you ain't too good wwith wwords yourself...oh damn it. Go on."

"Some moronic ass broke into my house and basically destroyed the place, stole my computer, and stole my little stash of money." Eridan's face piqued with interest. What was he a dog?

"Wwhy wwould anyone break into your place? Ain't Vvris gotcha covered? On account a you and her sister dating? Didn't Ter tell her ta back off?" 

"Wow, asshole. Nice way to bring up sore subjects." You turned your head towards his very interesting wall. Wow, such a pukey color.   
"She dumped my sorry ass yesterday. If you actually cared enough to go to school on time everyday, instead of just the classes Feferi is in, and Sollux's, don't think I haven't noticed, you would've heard the big speech Vriska made. Basically she told the whole school about our break up before Terezi decided she didn't need to puree my heart any more, and got her to shut up. Yeah, so, I'm pretty sure Vriska isn't 'covering' me anymore, and I wouldn't blink if she was the one who did the honors herself. The bitch has been trying to out do me in everything, even though I haven't challenged her like she thinks I did."  
There you go rambling on again. You have a bad habit of not shutting up and insulting people when you're uncomfortable. It's great that you can see that fault, but no one said you were going to actively try to change it. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Kar. I can try 'nd replace evverything if you wwant? I don't knoww wwhat I'm supposed to do in these situations..."

"It's fine, I just need a place to stay for a while. Thanks, I guess. So, who's downstairs?" Well, that was a bad move. You could feel his attitude change.

"My father. The man wwho helped create me, yet has nevver once been interested in me or my mum. As long as he sent us money, wwe kept the fact that he had a child off a the news. Evven wwhen she died, he nevver evven came to the funeral. You and evveryone else came and you guys ain't evven related! But he couldn't be bothered! But today, he came ovver because he wanted me ta movve in with 'im. Because I'm friends wwith Fef! He wwants ta marry her mother and try to get a piece of Betty Crocker Corps' money for himself. I think he's infatuated wwith her though, Fef's mom, I mean. He's gaga ovver her. Kinda like I am ovver Fef, but at least I actually tell her and don't use fuckin' underhanded tricks ta win her ovver. He wwants ta get ta knoww Fef better through me ta get ta her mother! It's dowwn right disgustin'!" 

You're going to have a long night infront of you. You can already tell as you watch him start blubbering and you move to comfort him.   
\---  
You refused when he pulled out the purple nail polish. Even though he claimed it was 'violet' not 'purple' and that it was perfectly acceptable to paint each other's nails. You replied that no, it wasn't fucking acceptable and that it would only be acceptable if you were a girl or a three year old. Both of which you aren't. He replied with a moan and said that you were too stereotypical and guys can paint their nails, it's all art anyway. Somehow or another you ended up with a bottle of polish in your hands and you are now currently painting his left hand as he looks for 50 First Dates online. You hear someone outside the door and you freeze. You forgot about Eridan's dad. Apparently he did too because he jumped a little at the sound of the door opening.   
"Son, I'm going home. I'm disappointed in your hosting skills. Hello, I'm Mister Ampora. I hope you can keep my visit, "out of mind." I'm willing to pay for your memory of said visit." You shake your head.  
"No, that fine. I'll keep my trap shut." No way would you take money from this scumbag, even if you aren't really in the position of refusal right now.   
"My hostin' skills are fine, Father. And leavve Kar outta this. He doesn't need to get caught up wwith you." Eridan turned his head back around to continue scrolling through sites. Whether or not he was really looking for something, you couldn't tell.

"As heir to my business you need to work on your below average hosting skills, like I said, and that speech disorder. You're seventeen, it was only cute when you were still in primary school. You could also learn some things from your submissive friend over here. Also-"  
"Shut up! First of all, leave Kar outta this, like I said before. And there's nothin' wwrong wwith how I speak. It makes me fucking memorable, and I'm not taking ovver anythin' a yours. You didn't havve the time to take care a me or mum before, so wwhy should I help you in most likely dirty business? I might be an obnoxious ass, but I havve limits. Now get out a my house!!"  
Mr. Ampora sighed, shook his head and left. You kinda feel like shit, well, more than you usually do. You should've helped out, but you feel as though this is something they need to work out by themselves. You break the silence like a damn pro and call him and idiot. You continue to paint his stupid hand and he puts on your movie. You opt to go get snacks, so he can have a few minutes of thinking time. You are the greatest, it is you. Until all you can find are low fat, low salt, low fucking everything diet foods. You are now yelling your eyes out your sockets in rage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty soon I'll draw all the characters, it's just going to be a while though.   
> Sketches can be found at my tumblr though I guess, but I guess some of them will be spoilers.   
> It's all tagged as CBP and Chocolates and Blue Peppermints jfyi.  
> Have I said this already???


	6. Be The Guy More Than A Little Rough Around The Edges And Also A Coward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat thinks hard about life and self worth. TW?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this entire chapter........and also this is the last chapter with little interaction between john and karkat.

You are now sobbing for the fifth time tonight as the credits of “If Only” roll across the laptop screen. You didn’t want this at ALL. You knew you would cry for “50 First Dates,” that was already predicted. As predictable as the pop quizzes that came every damn day, every week, at exactly 11:40, in your fifth period Spanish class. But what WASN’T on your to do list tonight, was to soak your friend’s overly priced, cologne smelling, purple sheets in rascalistic, peasant tears. Who the fuck wrote this beautiful masterpiece and didn’t put a warning label on the opening credits that involved something like, ‘We are not responsible for the deaths of the dehydrated idiots who decide to watch this film.’

You look over at Eridan, who had just been mumbling something a few minutes before, or it might’ve been more than a few minutes, you decide as you look at the time on the screen; it was almost three. He had attached his self to your shoulder and left his left hand inside a bag of berry flavored rice cakes. Whatever the hell those things were supposed to be. You suppose leaving right now, before he started spouting unnecessary bullshit about what might be a scene in the morning if you just went to sleep in his bed, would be a good idea. But walking around at three in the morning until you get to someone else’s house to crash, isn’t a great idea. So you pry yourself free of pale fingers and cringe as you step on those damned rice based, disks while trying to walk down the steps to go sleep on a ridiculously colored couch. 

You approximately trip twice, run into a wall, or something as equally full of bullshit, five times and hit your toe once on something metal. You mentally curse whoever decided that night time should be dark and then curse yourself for being that stupid to even think of that. Then you blame your tiredness, which leads you back to blaming yourself again. You stop the cycle of self blaming when you hear something. You think it’s probably a cat or something more or less cute and infected with rabies, except, cats and such, don’t make heavy thumping sounds. Wow, holy shit, you were totally wrong about Eridan’s house not being a target of petty, but most likely armed, and dangerous thieves. Oh fuck, what if they tried to kill you? Should you attempt to scare them, or fight them? Should you run back to Eridan and wake him up? Maybe that now growing shadow on the wall five feet away from you is someone he knows? Ok, that was a bit too optimistic for anyone with a mind. Although letting him be killed in his sleep unconciously would most likely be better than dying a sad, painful death like your own, maybe, future death. Wow, that was, morbid, and just sad. 

Hiding behind the couch, you juggle between being heroic and absconding, with or without your friend. Most likely getting the fuck out of there with your sleeping friend. You over hear bits of what seems to be a conversation between a familiar voice and an equally unfamiliar voice. 

“Just doooooooo it, already. GEEZ. I personally know this guy, and I know for a fact he will not care. Not even the tiniest bit. Look around, does it SEEEEEEEEM like he would worry about replacing anything in here? How do you expect to keep hanging with me and my AWESOME crew if you can’t even muscle up enough man grit to steal some prissy boy’s stupid jewlery? Hmmm?”

“No, I’m not scared. I just don’t see the point in stealing things I don’t need. And why do I need to prove myself to you? I thought you knew me better than that, I thought that we were, I don’t know, friends?”

You hear a sigh and some mumbling, but you think you’re too far away to hear clearly.

“--ourse I wouldn’t. But you know, even though I could just off them aaaaaaaall, it would make me a one woman team, and you can’t run a town with just one person, no matter how awesome they are. So them’s the breaks, you know its not like you’re the only one. Just gotta make sure you’re tough enough to stick around, and trust me, this is reaaaal easy stuff. Look, I even cut down to four a’s instead of eight, just for you. See, I am the best friend. The very best.”

“That’s stupid, you can’t even tell how many letters you’re saying. But seriously, after this, please, pleaaase, don’t ask me to do stuff like this, unless it’s necessary. You know why I’m doing this, so please don’t...”

You hear a sigh and then a loud thump, you’ve concluded that that is most definitely Vriska outside and someone she probably mercilessly hounded into doing dirty work for her. You are somewhat curious as to why she’s having someone break into her ex’s house randomly, and why she seems to be, dare you say it, ‘soft’ on said person, but you are too terrified for that. You know that Vriska will not hesitate to kick your ass, and jack you up with a fucking plastic butterknife and then go and tell everyone countless stories about how you suck and how she’s a queen. Wow, you hate the bitch, and you hate her even more because that’s what she wants you to do. You hear scolding and decide to sneak back upstairs, since it’s obvious sleeping downstairs is out and you can be assured of every sane, though maybe brainless, existence is safe. Yeah, you’re pretty much a coward, but then again, a scrawny little kid with a bark thousands of times louder than his bite can’t do much in the life you live. 

Now that you think about it, you are pretty useless. You have no good grades to speak of; your highest mark is a D average in your best class. You have no hobbies or talents whatsoever, nothing that you would ever look back on in twenty years, granted if you were still alive, and say, ‘aw, I used to spend all my time perfecting my skill at blah blah blah, even though people said I couldn’t do it, and look where I am now!” The most successful thing you’ve ever done, was rerouting a deadly virus to the school’s computer system, and that had been a total accident. And it wasn’t even your virus, it was Sollux’s, and you weren’t even supposed to touch it. It was only given to you so you could bow at his awesome skills. The only ‘hobbies’ you have, are watching movies and crying like a damn pussy over the slightest thing. You get trashed by your classmates, your father, your ex’s sister, and even random people you don’t even know on a daily basis. You’ve been neglected and verbally, and of course, phyiscally abused by your father since your mother walked out the door with your little sister. You can’t even remember their faces, let alone why they left. You were about five or six when they left, and after that your dad started to drink more, and started blaming you for everything. Typical sob story. Except you don’t and never will get that shiny little oppurtunity that changes your entire life around. You will never get out of poverty, your dad will never get better, you will never stop being a social retard, you will never have someone exclusivly dear to you, you will never stop being the world’s shit bag. And the weird and most pathetic thing about this is, you’re fine with this. One hundred percent fine with it, not because you’re afraid of change, like some people would say, but because you are accepting it and you know trying to change anything, would utimately lead to a disastor. Maybe that’s what Terezi meant by, ‘we should’ve never dated in the first place.’ Because trying was only going to lead to failure. And failure was the only constant thing you could rely on in your life. You’ve come to terms with it. With everything. 

You decide that this is a lot to think about at three in the morning, while laying in some douchebag’s waterbed as his house is currently being robbed. You are doing nothing because you can agree that everything can be replaced quite easily and also because you are a good for nothing, cowardly, ugly, depressing, dirty, undeserving ass that can’t do---  
Holy fuck. Someone is right above you. You can hear them breathing, and you know they are there even though your eyes are closed. You hear them swallow and you can feel the heat of them as they put some part of thier body in your face. A mantra of 'oh shit’s race through your mind even though you are perfectly aware that this person will probably, most likely, hopefully not kill you. You have to rethink this, because Vriska has some very, 'special’ friends and maybe you misjudged and maybe they are pyscho killers that like pretending that they are sad and pulled into Vriska’s web of shit. Actually, that sounds like something she would make them do. Wow, you’re screwed and just when you were coming to terms with everything.

You keep your eyes shut and try to stop breathing, and try to keep breathing at the same time because you have no clue what to do at moments like these. Until you feel something cover you, then you stop breathing for real.

“Hey Vriska...do you know him? Is this the guy you were talking about?”

You wonder if he’s whispering out of consideration, because of the mood, or because he knows you’re awake. 

“Hmmmmmmmm? No, that’s shouty mcgloom loser. I know them both, but we’re here for the lame one with purple hair. Though they are both perfectly equal in lameness. The one we’re here for is my ex, the other guy is my sister’s ex. Which is kinda funny, huh? Makes sense that they’d be fucking each other now, they lost two greaaaaaaaat women. Karloser is just really annoying and fun to push, but harmless as a limbless baby.”

“I didn’t really need to know all that...but you really think they are seeing each other? Kinda looks like they were fighting or something. Look, this guy looks super tired and he wasn’t even covered up. The other guy is covered in food. Maybe they were having a food fight.”

“Nah. They were totally having nonsexy sex. Trust me, I’ve known 'em both ever since we were kids. Come on, let’s get the shit and blow this place before we get loseritis. 'kay?”

“Sure, Vris.”

\-------

They left you alone with the purple prince and your thoughts after they took what they came for and left. You are not sure whether you should be distressed by the thought that Vriska saw you laying in bed with her ex, or if you should be elated that your pathetic life has been confirmed another day without a scratch, well, without any fresh ones at least. But the thing that is on your mind, is that, you are pretty sure whoever was with the bitch, must’ve been a pretty good person. You kinda hope they don’t get hurt while they fuck around with Vriska and her gang, you know from experience what she could, and would do. And if he was seeing her? Then, all the praying from you would amount to nothing because, that was like trying to use one hand to ride a bull that could tear your ass apart. In more ways than one. But then again, worrying over some poor sap wouldn’t be beneficial to you at all, so why bother?

You close your eyes, intending to sleep for the few hours of dark you have left before you have to deal with the grave you dug yourself. Sleep was really the only thing you could take joy in, and the only good constant in your life.


	7. Be the Spider Bitch *bonus*

Because a certain attractive boy with blue and tired eyes requested, you are walking home. There is a comfortable silence between the two of you as you finger the purple, gem stoned ring in your pocket. On normal occasions, you would’ve high tailed it out of the area after doing business, especially dangerous, sneaky ‘business.’ You figure it’s fine since it’s just wimpy Eridan, and since it’s a two person job. You’re pretty sure both of you could get away fine if need be, but then again, this was Eridan, the guy who, for some reason, kept his rich hands out of the news and such. You have to admit, you’re going soft for this kid. He’s cute, and pretty innocent, even if he’s mixed up with you. Just a good kid looking for the right things in the wrong places. You suppose that’s why you make allowances for him. You’ve entertained the thought of maybe, becoming more than just master and pupil, or friends, if you will. You steal a glance as he walks in front of you, arms swinging, but a serious look on his face. You are pretty fond of his eyes, and also his hair, and also his face. Maybe you just had a thing for baby faced derps. 

The last time you tried getting close to someone you liked, they ended up getting paralyzed. People assume that you meant to do that in the first place, but to be honest, you never thought of anything like that. It was an honest to goodness accident. And no one knew that except for you. The boy’s already messed up head, got jumbled in the accident. After that incident years back, rumors about you spread and created this person that was you, but at the same time wasn’t. Instead of running away from it and drowning in the false persona other people created, you decided to embrace it. You single handedly took down the leader of the joke of the gang that lounged around town. You changed them from lousey, petty thieves that did nothing but hang around town in groups, to strong, organized pawns under your hand. This was your town now, you created reasons for your underlings to do what you wanted. You plotted and cheated, because cheating was the only thing you knew how to do. 

John here, was caught in your terriotory a few months ago, and he was brought to you, beaten up and angry. You figured he was just desperate, and just needed to eat or such. You never thought that a few months later, you’d be making excuses just to be with him, since he couldn’t be seen with you. Recently, you’ve been spilling your whole life story to him and he accepted it all. Maybe it was because he knew what you were going through, or because he was in the same situation, and could understand how life was not all perfect and happy. Whatever it was, you could talk to him without being judged, and that was, somewhat, nice.

You don’t know what’s wrong with you, you are a hardcore, strong woman that don’t need no man to make you happy and you are the fucking mayor of this neighborhood. But mayors are very stupid and you’d rather be a queen. But the point is, that you, Vriska Serket-Pyrope, and you are pretty sure you are in love with John Egbert.


	8. Be the Hunter Girl *bonus*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay okay, a real chapter is coming next, but I had to get this info in and it fit better in an extra chapter...yeah. also I have more pictures, more like sketches, on my tumblr under the tag Chocolates and Blue Peppermints. I don't plan on posting them so...yeah....yeah.   
> http://terristuck.tumblr.com/tagged/chocolates-and-blue-peppermints

You are currently dragging one of your best friends by their collar down the hallway, to a place where you can yell at him in private. You know Dave and Rose will wonder where the both of you are, well, only Rose would say something, really. But this is of DIRE importance! So, you'll just have to move quick. Especially since blue boy had the nerve to keep squirming and resisting you. The both of you know that you are the stronger one and that, despite his claims, he's pretty scrawny in general. The only thing he could do was run, and even that didn't benefit him since you had snuck up behind him before grabbing him. You were the hunter, and today, John Egbert was your prey.

You spot a janitor's closet and announce that it's perfect as you drag his scrawny behind inside behind you and close the door. You slam him up against a wall littered with cleaning supplies and tools. He protests as he looks at you in annoyance.

“Jaaa--”

You slap your hand over his mouth. You can already figure out what you wanted just by hearing that AWFUL exaggeration on the ‘a’ in your name.

“No, fuck that. We’re not going to banter and jump around this problem like children. What is wrong with you?! You’ve been sulking all MORNING! Usually you shake it out after homeroom. Unless you’ve had a really bad, 'night.'”

You emphasized ‘night’ because you wanted to get straight to the point. You did not tolerate bullshit like this. You had a time limit and you needed to figure out what was wrong with your ‘brother’ as soon as possible. You slowly took your hand off his mouth.

“Ok, ok. But Jade, seriously, someone’s going to come in here and see you pushing me up against a wall and get some pretty messed up ideas. And if I have to be in a rumor, I wanna be the one that seems like a bad ass. I really don’t approve of having you--”

You slapped it back on, making sure to make it sting. Wow, he was an annoying little shit when he didn’t want to answer you. Stubborn and cute as always, he stares at you with that look of amusement and pride. You’re not getting it out of him today, you can already tell. 

“Just tell me what happened. Did Vriska do something? Do I need to put a few--”

Your hand was pushed away with more force than you’re used to. Huh, that was weird, but then you should’ve expected it. 

“No! Vriska hasn’t done anything! I just...um...oh, look...”

You cautiously turn your head and face a very pretty girl. She is staring at the both of you with suprise and amusement. She’s taller than the both of you, but not exceptionally tall. She smiles awkwardly, as if she doesn't know how to handle barging in on this kind scene. You look down to her hand, she was just trying to get some paper towels. 

“Ah. I apologize, I did not mean to impose on...your ‘private time’ at all.”

You shake your head viciously, maybe John was right, ugh.

“Oh no! It, we weren’t, it’s not how you think. I was just trying to shove some sense into this...”

You turn your head to show that you were talking about John. The sneaky bastard was already gone. Damn, you knew better than to let yourself take your eyes off of him for more than a minute. You look confused as you look around until you hear his voice out in the hall.

Sticking your head out the doorway behind the girl, you spot him with his arm around some guy’s shoulders. He looks very familiar, though you can’t remember where you’ve seen him from or why. He also looks very pissed and red in the face. 

“Hey Jade, I have to go, um...Karkat needs me! So yeah! Tell Dave and Rose that I’m skipping lunch today! I’ll see you later in CLASS, ok? Ok, BYE JADE!”

He turns his head to who you now know as Karkat, says something and then they’re out. Literally, they walk out of the building. Not many kids eat outside during lunch now because of the cold, so you don’t know whether his excuse was real, or if he made it up on the spot. 

You turn your head towards the girl as she does the same. 

“Jade...Harley. Um, sorry, for...John. Um...what you saw it wasn’t...”

She stops you mid sentence.

“Oh, no. I know who you are. It’s ok, I’m just glad I didn’t barge in on something...of that nature. I’m Kanaya, Kanaya Maryam. Nice to meet you. And to be quite honest, John has just taken away my cleaning buddy and I have no one to help me. I am in quite a prediciment. Would you, perhaps...”

“Oh, sure! Just let me tell my friends that they’re going to be alone for lunch, I could introduce you, if you’d like.”

\-----  
As you lead her to the table you, Dave, Rose and John usually sit at, you make a mental note to get the truth from ‘Karkat’ and to be merciless towards John, regardless of the outcome. You notice as you tell them about John’s engagements and your own, that Dave looks somewhat terrifyed, as much as he can be, and Rose isn’t paying attention to you, but instead to your classy aqquaintance. 

Well, today was sure to be interesting.


	9. Be The Smooth Operator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is a smooth operator. As smooth as a smoothie. As smooth as a blanket. Smooth as a smoothie covered blanket. As smooth as smooth as smooth can be. Some would even say...smoother than smooth.  
> 2/27 EDITED :p

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2/27 EDITED :p  
> Ok, so that was definitely NOT two weeks!!! Sorry!!! I don't have access to my laptop at the moment, and many more moments to come, so uploading is very difficult. I just uploaded kid Karkat's story maybe a few weeks ago, but not the next chapter. I didn't because, even though I have it written down in a notebook, I wasn't happy with it. Actually it's been done for some months now. Anyway, I'm also going back and cleaning up errors and making some changes in the other chapters. I'll make sure to show a sign that they're edited when I do. They shouldn't be too big, but you might want to reread them? Ok, so I'm done with the dumb chattering (haha). Thanks for reading!!!

Your name is John Egbert and you are the smoothest person ever. You are so smooth. Smooth as something incredibly smooth. Maybe like a smoothie. Or a blanket? You have no idea how you got on this stupid subject, but the point is, you’re AWESOME.

Jade K. Harley, dog lover, gun enthusiast and cheerleader, was notoriously known for getting whatever she wanted. And she was even more known for getting whomever she wanted. And when she was mad, she got to hunting down the unlucky sap. The names 'bloodhound girl' and 'bitch' were thrown around generously between classmates, and it wasn't unusual to hear them whispered in the same sentence. But you did it. You did the impossible, the amazing, the astounding! You turned her own little isolation trick around on her!

Ok, so to be truthful, you probably didn’t get away with it, at all. You have the slight suspicion that she let you get away with it just so she could have the satisfaction of hunting you down. But you still got away with it, for now. So kudos to you. However, now you were stuck lunchless with a grumpy dude outside. And you were cold. 

But the most important thing was that this was the same dude that was in the house you and Vriska looted last night. No one was supposed to know what you did. You had thought it was safe, especially since Vriska explained that no one you knew would be there. But you knew Karkat! Well, not well, but you had wanted to, and now you're stuck with him on temporary highschool exile! (No kid in their right mind would help you now if they knew Jade was after you, and word traveled fast.) 

Now, the only options you had left were; one, stay away from him like the plague, two, continue to get to know him but avoid that type of conversation and act 'normal', or three, out yourself as his friend's jewel thief's accomplice. Ok, so only the first two were reasonable. He didn't seem to recognize your voice or face or anything. He was sleep, you suppose it's fine, and he's not even saying anything about it. Maybe you're overreacting.

Now that you think about it you're really cold, all you have on is a hoodie. So does your new buddy, who is walking in front if you, but he doesn't seem cold at all. There's not too much snow on the ground, just little white patches of pure, icy fluff. You look at one of your footprints by twisting your body to look behind you. Your feet are small. You hate your feet.

"Hey, Karkat, where are we going? Aren't you cold?" He doesn't grant you with stopping, you're going to trip if you have to keep run-walking behind him, but he throws you a sideways look. 

"Well, I'm meeting a friend, who now I'm late to meet because of you. I don't know who or where this 'we' is going. Maybe you should see if there's someone you didn't drag into your idiotic friend's delusional mind game where she is some type of soldier and we are the enemy troops and maybe they would become a 'we' with you. Or not, because you, my not friend, are an insensitive, and highly annoying child with nothing but piles and piles of excrement in your mushy skull with no thought of other's feelings. I haven't liked you since the day you bumped into me and called me Strider. Like I'm as much of a douchenozzle as he is."

You're mind is kind of swirling at this point as you try to wrap your head around Karkat's 'elegant' speech. You think he just said some pretty mean, and confusing, stuff about you, Jade, and Dave. 

"Hey! That's not very nice!"

"I give no fucks about being nice to someone I don't know."

"But you do know me, I'm J-"

"Someone I'm not friends with and hasn't given me reason to be. I was supposed to be helping out Kanaya."

You piece two and two together and figure that girl with the closet was Kanaya. You should probably apologize for that, and maybe make it up to him. Your dad would probably appreciate that, even if he didn't know about it.

"Sorry for dragging you away, and into  this. Um...I don't think Jade will be too hard on you if I fess up." 

You really don't want to do that, she's going to kill you, but it's the fair thing to do. He stops at a lunch table covered in snow. You mildly wonder why the school even put them this far out. Maybe to instill excercise habits? He brushes snow off the seat and sits, barely showing any sign that it's cold. You follow his lead and practically freeze as you sit down. His butt must be super insulated. By accident you say that out loud, again.

"I'm glad that my brown, pudgy butt is in your thoughts, and by glad, I mean creeped out. But I've seen, or heard, worse. And...I might be willing to entertain you. If you get Harley off my back, I'm not entirely amused by the thought of being her torture subject. But then only a little bit, I'm not going to fill in for your imaginary friend that you cuddle with every night. So don't get your hopes up. Dammit, Egbert didn't I just say not to get your hopes up?!"

You were already grinning your super famous, drop dead gorgeous grin. You think your cheeks were being pulled apart. You reach into your hoodie pouch  and pull out four shiny wrapped candies. You roll them around, find the two different ones you were looking for and handed them to your new friend, that thought makes you want to giggle. (You're not supposed to giggle, bad John, bad! You're going to scare him away!) This was it. This was the friendship test, even though he really couldn't even fail it, you wanted to see how he'd react. He takes them with a skeptic look at you. He starts to unwrap just one and put it in his mouth.

"Wait!"

"Egbert, what? Am I not supposed to eat this friendship candy? Actually, that's probably what you call it, huh?"

"Well, yeah, duh. But you have to eat both of them together! Not just the chocolate one by itself!"

He unwraps the second super slowly. You're tempted to snatch it and cram them both in his mouth. Woah, that was a little...yeah...you're too excited.

"What is this? It's an unnatural shade of blue and I'm scared to eat it. How much dye and radioactive slime was put into this? How many innocent Callinectes sapidus did you kill to make these?"

" Calliwhatsit? And it's a mint! It's kinda hard to tell, since its in a ball. But try it, it's good."

"Callinectes sapidus. Blue crabs. It's latin."

He looks down at them, then up at you, and then down again. He looks at you as he puts them in his mouth with one hand, as if he's taking pills. You practically see him telepathically telling you that he will kill you if you poisoned him. You can see him rolling them around with his tongue. He finally pushes them in his cheek to talk.

"Not bad. Is this what all the quote on quote cool kids do?"

"Haha nope! Actually, so far out of all my friends, you're the only one to like it besides me!"

"I'm so lucky."

"Yeah! Once, when I was a little younger, I went into Nanna's shop. Do you know it?" He shakes his head no. "Oh, well one day, I'll take you there." You ignore his frown. "Anyway, I was buying chocolates and that mint was misplaced and so when I blindly ate them, a miraculous combo was born. Better than peanutbutter, which I'm allergic to haha, and chocolate, and similar to peppermintbark!"

"Thanks for the life story..."

"No problem!!"

"Wwell, look at wwho wwe'vve got here."

You practically jump at the sound of someone else's voice. A really accented voice at that. You turn around to see the other boy you saw yesterday, Eridan, if you remember right. He's dressed to the nines in purple. His brown hair is streaked with purple and gelled up and back. His (purple) jacket is leather and is accompanied by a thick blue and purple scarf. You don't feel as bad about last night as you did before. That would make your dad sad, but it was true, he had tons of cash by appearance and you just met him. Even your thoughts weren't Dad worthy anymore. You're pretty awful.

"Eridan, stop using so many fuckin' words with Ws. Eridan, zoosmell pooplord. John, pompous asshole. Try not to trample me in your hurry to kiss eachother's ugly faces."

"Hello John. I'm Eridan, nice ta meet you." 

You take his ringed hand and shake it, woah that's a lot of jewels. You wonder if they're real. You look down at his (purple) shoes. They look nice (and expensive), you're not quite sure what they are. They're not Jordans, or Nikes...

"Custom brand. If you're wwonderin'"

"Oh...they're nice! And um, sorry for staring. I'm John."

"I knoww."

He sits down on the opposite side of the table, across from you and Karkat,  grimacing at the cold seat. If you weren't so nervous, you'd point out that Karkat's butt was unnatural. But you were nervous. And in the middle of a feelings jam between the victims of one of your secrets. You were royally screwed. Maybe you're not as smooth as a smoothie. You're not even as smooth as a freakin' rock.


	10. OFF HIATUS....soon....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys its not an actual update though...

SO I AM GOING TO START WRITING THE NEXT SEVERAL CHAPTERS AND THEY WILL BE NICE CHAPTERS AND I AM SORRY ABOUT THE UNANNOUNCED HIATUS, I HAVEN'T ABANDONED THIS FIC. JUST GOT A LOT OF STUFF GOING ON.   
Unless no one even really cares or remembers this fic anymore..haha...ha...sob


	11. Be The Unluckiest Smooth Operator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has the most unluckiest luck ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAAAY AN UPDATE WHOOO!!!!  
> Sorry, it took even longer than it should've because I was working on a project. *cough* go to mispokeventures.co.nf or my tumblr (terrifins) to see what I mean *cough*  
> But now I'll be updating on the regular. Hopefully. Because it's summer...and I want to sleep all day. And eat. And read old manga no one's ever heard of before.  
> Anyway, without further ado, enjoy the update! Unless, you were smart enough to skip my stupid author's note. Aha. Ahaha. Haha. Ha. Haaa....  
> ***Also I'm sorry for butchering all the characters :/

You might be the most unluckiest person in the world. Seriously. You aren't even sure how all this happened. You were just a guppy, trying to live in a big fish pond, and now you're sitting between two of your victims. Hoping that neither of them would suspect you were the one who broke in Eridan's house yesterday. You were sweating like crazy. You couldn't even feel the cold anymore. THE SNOW UNDER YOUR CHILED BUTT WAS MELTING. No. No, they weren't your victims. You didn't do anything. You just assisted Vriska. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. You're innocent. But according to Law, assisting is just as bad as pulling the trigger.

 

Ok, wow, seriously. You need to lay off all of those cop shows.

 

But you really are freaking out. If you ever got caught, you'd be expelled. Put in Juvie. Taken away from Casey, Spen, Nate, and Roy. Your dad would be more ashamed of you than he is now. He'd be devastated; maybe he'd try to disown you. Or worse, maybe the police would come to your house when he wasn't around and decide he wasn't fit to raise all of you. If that happened, you don't know what your dad might do. You don't know what you'd do. Maybe, it was time to stop all of this. No. That was foolish. Even if you got a job, the six of you wouldn't be able to survive on that. You were barely okay on your dad's paycheck, and your cuts from Vriska. So quitting wasn't an option. You don't know why you keep thinking of quitting, every time you convince yourself of stopping, you remember how much food there was in the fridge, how many days there were left until the electricity was turned off, how many times you had to tape up your little siblings shoes because they'd been wearing the same pairs for years because neither you, nor your dad could afford to buy them new ones. You think of all the times you've gone to thrift stores, and stuffed things down your shirt, and in your pants, because you couldn't even afford hand-me downs. You think of all the times you've had to tell Nate to go drink some water when he was hungry. You think of the sad, gut wrenching look Casey gave you when you had to tell her she couldn't invite her friends over, because your dad was too embarrassed by the house and the lack of everything that he actually yelled at you for asking, and started crying. The times you had to practically beg the kids' teachers to waive the field-trip fees just a little longer, so the kids could go, and not be teased about it. You think of the times when you were laughed at because you wore some of the clothes some of the kids had donated themselves. No. Quitting wasn't an option. One more year, and you'd be graduating, then you'd go and find a real job. You'd help support your dad, and siblings. Then you'd quit, when you were absolutely sure you could support your family. But only then. So now, for now you had to keep going. Play hard, and smart. This was your game, and you were going to win it. You were going beat the ever loving shit out of this game.

 

"John. John! Dammit, John, answer me, you buttsnot!"

 

"Uh...what? Sorry Karkat was kinda...daydreaming." You did it again airhead, you did it again.

 

"You sure you were daydreaming? Looked more like daynightmaring. You were like fifty shades of Egbertian pale." You nod, and smile at your concerned friend. EEEE. He was your friend. And victim. He shrugs, flicking some snow at Eridan, who shouts about his coat being soiled.

 

"Eh. Well, why do I give a fuck about your well-being anyway? Oh, that's right, I don't. But I asked you a question, and you were idiotic enough to be dry humping away in la-la land that you didn't hear me."

 

"Ew. Karkat..."

 

"No. Shut up. Now, I'll repeat my glorious question for you again, numbskull. I asked when you're going to talk to Jade. So I know when it's better to show my ugly mug in public. Not that I care to, as there are assholes like you running around."

 

"Um...I guess...next period? Which we're all going to be late for if we don't get back inside now, huh? Well, I'm going to go. I'll see you later, Karkat!" And with that, you were off. There was no way you'd be sitting with the both of them for much longer, not if you could help it. Hopefully, you'd never run into Eridan again, the guilt was too much for you. You weren't really in his group of friends, so it should be ok. Right?

 

You make it to your sixth period class with plenty of time to spare. For the first time in two years, you're early! Actually, so early, that another class, that didn't share your lunch period, was still in session. So after lovingly being kicked out by one of your favorite teachers, Ms. U, you sat against the wall to wait. You decide that thinking about something would keep you from being bored, so you think about Ms. U. Everyone called her Ms. U because they couldn’t pronounce her name right. Actually, she was related to two kids in the school, Callie, and Cal. No one ever told you exactly how they were related, and you never cared enough to find out. Sure, Callie was a great gal, but her brother was horrible. For as long as you can remember, he’s always bullied you, physically and verbally. Well, he stopped beating on you once Bro started mentoring him. Dave always got pouty when Cal went over their house for a session, and complained to you on the phone for hours. However, Cal still cornered you sometimes, to make a statement about how he thought he was so much better than you. He thought he was better than everybody, though he was probably the dumbest out of everybody. You’re not sure how he made it to junior year. Maybe it was Jake’s influence.

Jake was Jade’s cousin, and even though you used to be the best of pals once, he was worse than Cal sometimes! You really can’t remember when it started, but it was pretty soon after he moved closer to Jade and her grandpa, which was in first grade. You knew why he harassed you. And there was nothing you could do about it but run away. If you ever got in a real fight with him, if you lasted more than two seconds, Jade would never forgive you. Even if you told her about Jake, Cal, and Jack.

Actually, there was Jack now, scaring some guy out of their lunch money probably. He always had a knife on him, which no teachers knew about, that or they didn’t have the guts to do something about it. Any kid he laid his hands on was pretty scared enough to keep their mouth shut, even without the threats. Though in reality, he hadn’t used it very often. You don’t know if it’s because he doesn’t want to, or because he didn’t have to. But anyways, he’d been a sophomore, for like, twenty years or something. Ok. Maybe not twenty. He was only three years older than you. But still. You think that maybe he just likes being with his little group, Cal, and Jake. You don’t know. You’re not a part of the meathead convention.

He finishes his business with his signature whispered threat, and laughs after the kid as he runs off. He spots you and decides to walk over.

“John.” He nods.

“Hi Jack.” You answer.

“How’s _business_?”

“Still not selling weed Jack, so you’re not gonna get a profit out of anything. So leave me alone. Please.” If your father taught you anything, he taught you manners. He glares at you in a way that still gives you shivers. You wonder if he’s not really a thirty year old mafia boss. He spits in your face, and walks away. Jack doesn’t say much on a typical day. You might have a little luck, the nontypical days were awful. The bell rings, and kids pour out the classrooms, reminding you just how big the school was. You wipe your face quickly, and force yourself inside the classroom. You head straight for the backseat near the window, and ignore Ms. U’s worried eye. You drop your bag down in the chair next to you, to save for Jade, and then bury your head in your arms. Wow, today sucked and you were only halfway through the day.

 

You talked to Jade about Karkat, you turned in your Literature report, You picked up the kids, you bought them something to eat with some cash from Rose (a loan you’ll have to pay three times as much on later), and you locked the front door. That should be it. Right? Wrong. You forgot to call Dave. Oh well, now’s better than never. You walk into the kitchen; drag a chair by the phone, and cross your fingers. If the line’s been disconnected, you’ll have to break the news to your dad.

It doesn’t work.

Oh.

Wait. It’s just not plugged in. Who did that? You have a good guess. You dial Dave’s number, happy that it’s still working, and wait for your best bro picks up the phone.

After about three rings, the equivalent of a patty cake game with Casey, someone picks up.

“Finally! Dave, don’t you answer your phone anymore?”

“…”

“Um…Dave?”

“…”

“Bro?”

“What’s up, little man?” The smooth southern accent fills your ears as you tickle Casey.

“Hi. I was wondering if Dave could, you know, talk.” You’re pretty sure now you hear clanging.

“Dave’s a little busy right now. The little pussy’s being trashed right now.” You cringe a little, before he apologizes. You think you hear Dave yelling something at him now.

“It’s alright. Say, can you tell Dave to call me later then?” More clanging. You swear that their obsession with swords is going to get them arrested one day

“Sure, little man.” And with that, he hung up. You loved the Striders, but sometimes, they could be the weirdest people you know. After Rose. She wrote fanfiction, and anyone who did that was beyond weird.

You put the phone back on the receiver, wondering what having a cellphone would be like. Probably awesome. Casey stares up at you with her big blue eyes, and you smile. You pick her up, struggling a bit, because wow, she’s getting big. And you carry her into your room, and carefully drop her on the bed. High enough that she bounces, but low enough so that she doesn’t bounce off. She giggles, and asks for a piggy back ride. You wonder where she expects you to get all this energy from, but you pick her up, and swing her on your back. Ok, maybe you just had her climb on. You weren’t superman.

“Where to, Princess Casey?”

“Daddy!”

“Where’s Daddy?”

“’ivingroom!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! No. Yes!” You laugh as she decides whether or not Dad’s in the living-room, and decide to take her there anyway. You tiptoe around the house, avoiding the living-room to amuse Casey, which makes her giggle every time you ask her if ‘daddy’ was in the room. She almost fell off laughing when you went into the bathroom. You bust into Roy, Spen, and Nate’s room, kicking the already open door to make a dramatic entrance. Roy and Nate jump up, startled, but Spen just focuses on the game he’s playing.

“Be gone monsters!” You roar, giving Roy and Nate their cue to jump into their roles. They sing a chorus of growls and snarls, with a few giggles, as they try to attack you and steal your princess.

“Don’t worry princess; your prince will protect you!”

“We, hehehe, want to eat the princess,” Nate can barely keep a straight face. Roy just roars at his twin.

“EEK! John, don’t let them get me!”

You lightly knock down Nate and Roy in one leg sweep. They get back up, and try to take you down; Roy biting your leg. You really do wonder about him sometimes. You puff your cheeks and then blow.

“Super wind! Oh no!”

Nate and Roy fall down, twitching their legs and reciting payback threats they’ve heard on TV from villains. You laugh triumphantly, and walk over to one of the two beds where Spen lays.

“Princess Casey! Look! Here’s the monster boss!”

“Oh no, John! Get him!” She leans over your shoulder to point at Spen, as he turns to give you an unamused look. You put your foot in the middle of his back and shake your leg up and down. Apparently, he loses his game because of your distraction.

“John! You play too much! I almost beat the level!”

You laugh and spin so that Casey’s legs kick him, and he falls back down on the bed.

“We did it Princess! All the monsters are gone!” You drop her slowly onto the floor, and Nate and Roy crawl over to play with her. You ruffle Spen’s hair, an apology for messing up his game. He shrugs you off with all the attitude he can, but you still see the smile. You make sure everyone’s ok before you leave the room. Now it’s time to go see your dad.

You walk up to his bedroom, getting ready to knock on his door. You remember the first time you ran into his room when you were younger, and it was just you and him. He had been out when you were sleep, and when you went in to look for him, you almost had a mini heart attack because unlike the rest of the house, it wasn’t the super fun, and kinda creepy, room you though your dad would have. It was a super disappointment. But the days of harlequin figurines and pictures were long over. But you still wanted to give you dad the privacy and respect he deserved.

You went to knock, but you heard mumbling. Now, eavesdropping was wrong, but stealing was wrong too. And this sounded serious.

“…So they’ll stay with you. All four of them? Are you sure that’s ok? Next week. Good. So can you pick them up Sunday then? Yes, good.”

You stumble away from the door. Was your dad sending the kids away? Why? For how long? What was going on? You start to think of all the possible things that could happen, when the phone rings and brings you out of your head. You quietly backtrack, and go into the kitchen. Your head is still swimming with the information, so you’re confused when you hear you name.”

“John. Stop thinking about how awesome I am and answer me. You’re scaring me, dude.”

“Dave…Can I come over?”

“Yeah. Sure. I know you want to jump my pale bones more than ever---“

“No, I need to talk.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I think my dad’s sending the kids away.”

You didn’t even say bye. You hung up, grabbed your hoodie, told Spen you were leaving, and left out the door. You were glad it was nighttime. Now, no one could see you crying.

 


	12. Be The Unwilling Party Recluse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat gets invited to his first highschool party, lands face first into some snow on his lunch date with King Egbert the Doof, and Gamzee sings a song about ducks and rainbows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! I finished it! Sorry it's a bit late, and kinda a weird transitional chapter? Gomen.   
> Now I can go to sleep. Yay!

You are currently enjoying the last few moments of blissful solitude you will have for the next three hours. Well, you mostly had the blissful part, not really the solidarity though. Gamzee was singing a song about baby ducks and sunshine, while you were doing research on your new laptop. Well, it was really Sollux's old, dingy laptop he let you have. 

You were going to need all the help you could get from the world wide web, as you were about to face the greatest challenge you would ever face in your entire life. 

Your first unchaperoned high school party. 

In which unchaperoned was code for smuggled alcohol, weed, and tons of gangly teens puking every three seconds. You think all hope may be lost when your google search of  
'HOW DO I SURVIVE A HIGHSCHOOL PARTY WITH TONS OF FUCKING PEOPLE I HATE, ALCOHOL, WEED, UNPROTECTED GROUP SEX, AND PLENTY OF DICKSUCKING DOUCHEMONGRELS THAT WILL TRY TO COERCE ME INTO ONE, OR POSSIBLY ALL THREE HORRIBLE CRIMES BECAUSE I GOT PUSHED INTO THIS BY A DOUBLE BITCH OF A FRIEND????!!!!' got zero results. Sollux was a punk, is a punk, and you will forever be his bitch. You sigh and close the traitorous laptop, with just a little more force  than you expected. You should've never taken that deal.

You think back to two days ago, an unsuspecting Wednesday. 

 

You had walked into the lunchroom, saw Sollux smiling at you from the table you had claimed for the past two years, and promptly proceeded to wheel around and walk right back out the lunchroom. Sollux only smiled that evil smile when he need something, was up to something, or both. You were almost out of the lunchroom when you felt a cold, freezing hand on your shoulder. You could smell his honey addiction and the gayness of his evil soul that was wafting off him in waves. With a face full of horror, and disdain, you turn to face your attacker.

He laughs at your horrified expression.   
Except you don't stop once he stops laughing. 

"KK."

"..."

"Ok, KK, this isn't funny anymore."

"......"

"KK, I swear. Stop it!"

"........"

"Dammit KK! Thop that! Thit..." You celebrate your small victory of provoking him enough to get him to lisp again. Unfortunately, you lose the face to a smirk, and your reign of victory ends. You scowl at him the best way you can. Maybe it would change whatever his evil nerd brain was thinking of. 

Or not.

"KK, I need a favor."

"Last time you needed a 'favor', I ended up ass deep in a raging river." He snickers, the bastard. 

"That was an inflatable kiddy pool at my cousin's party, and you slipped in it by yourself. I had nothing to do with it. All you had to do was come."

"But it was at YOUR cousin's party. And that wasn't a kiddy pool. There was too much fucking water in that, I felt like the damn titanic."

"As cute as it is, stop over exaggerating for a moment and listen to me. You'll get something out of this, if you help. And it's easy, even for a numbskull like you." Did you growl? No, it was your stomach. It hated ass munching assholes. Ok, so you admit, maybe your insults were running a bit to the ridiculous side lately. But you've suffered a lot lately, it's not your fault you heart has been ripped out, danced on and lit on fire by your ex's indifference. That and her step sister.

"Hurry up shit sniffer, I have places to be." Well, your other engagement sucked judges much as this one. At least you didn't know why this one sucked yet. 

"Well, there's a party...and..."

"Hold it right the fuck there, Captor. You know that 'parties' are forbidden things to me. I'm not going to any party!!"

"Would you shut up? You're drawing attention to us."

He was right, three or four pairs of eyes were watching you now. Including a pair of bright baby blues. Damn it.

" Anyway, before you opened your huge mouth, I was saying, that we needed drinks. I can buy them, but I need help getting them to the party. That's where you come in."

"Why can't you drive?" He sighs, and you notice he's doing that annoying thing again, where he taps the zipper on his jacket. The slight clacking sound was barely noticeable because of all the noise in the lunchroom but you could practically hear it from memory. Something was off.

"Pops has the car. And he's out of town. With the scuzz brain." Ah. So that was it. Sollux never really like his brother. But it wasn't his fault he needed therapy, and needed his dad to drive him out of town for the appointments because there were no clinics in town. You'd be hearing about it later most likely. 

"Oh."

"If you help me carry them over, I'll give you an old laptop of mine. It's still better than your old beat up one. It'll be great to see that crap in the trash."

"It was stolen, remember dickbutt?"

"Whatever. You in? Come on, it'd help me out a lot. I need to find new rich kids to get money out of, and these parties are like goldmines." 

Sollux owned a small, self business, where he roped kids into paying him to do their homework. If they tried to get him to do it for free, since they paid him after they got the results back, he'd trick them into downloading a virus he'd created. Then they would have to pay him again so that he would fix it. After that, if they didn't leave him alone, he'd continue helping them, or move on to another 'client'. You had to admit, it was a pretty brilliant operation. No one would squeal because they'd get a lifelong detention, and no one was smart enough to get rid of it. Of course, one day it'd be back to bite him in his mixed Korean ass, but it didn't matter. He was making plenty of money from kids who wasted precious fives at a McDonalds for a combo meal. You really should take after him. Minus the whole computer thing. Shit, you sucked when it came to anything above basic in computers. 

But about the offer, you needed another laptop. You cringed at the memory of the handwritten report you had yet to turn in for your literature class. That woman gave out reports every fucking week it seemed. And even though you were no longer conscious of your grades, you didn't need her calling your dad because of your 'lack of effort' again. That was the last thing you needed. 

You sigh deeply, and Sollux smiles down at you.

"What time?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll come pick you up Friday. Wear something nice."

"Wait, why?"

"You can't just leave me there, KK. You know how dumb I'd look if I went alone? You've gotta stay. Just for a little bit! I'll give you a cut of whatever I make from that night later."

Oh no he didn't. He's trying to get you to STAY at the party.  
"How long, Captor?"

"Maybe, I don't know, twoormaybethreehours?"

"Bullshit."

"Come on man, you'll get beer, free invite to a party--"

"I don't drink. You know that."

"You can yell at people all night?"

"..."

"Come on, KK, please. When's the last time you helped me out?"

"You just--"

"For something important."

"Last--"

"Okay. Never mind, just come. In all truth, you need to get out the house. After the whole Terezi thing, you've been really down. So even if you don't meet anybody new, it'll be good for you."

Ah. Of course. You've heard that so many times, it makes you sick. You're fine. Sure, you were pissed at what happened. But you got what you deserved, and now you have to deal with it. You can't go out and go 'mingle' just because you're alone now. Nine times out of ten, you bet Kanaya, or hell, maybe even Feferi, talked him into this. He didn't really need help. But maybe if you went, and pretended to have a good time, they'd cool it for a while. 

"Fine. Whatever." You turn around and walk straight out the cafeteria doors. You were going outside. Where there was no annoying busybodies.

You were wrong. You need an invisible suit. You had barely been eating your bland pb&j for a few minutes when you felt two hands cover your eyes. Your half chewed sandwich went everywhere. 

"Ew! Karkat, say it--"

"Say the rest, and I will fucking murder you!"

"Oh, um, ok. Geesh, what's up your butt? I thought we were supposed to eat together? You know, inside? Where it's warm?" 

Oh. That's right. You'd forgotten with all the party conversation with Sollux. You sigh as he sits down on the bench. It's partially amusing how he's adamant about making sure all the little patches of snow are melted around him. He was weird. 

"Sorry. I forgot."

"Well, I was certain you saw me, in the cafeteria. I was waiting for you, you know. But then Sollux walked up so--"

"You know Sollux? You don't seem to be the type that runs with his crowd though."

"O-oh. No, I just um...know of a lot of people. Haha. We aren't friends or anything." He looks away after he says that. You wonder if he's lying. Or maybe he's feeling guilty about knowing people? Was he one of those creepy, stalker kids? 

"A-anyway, you seemed pretty upset while you were talking to Sollux, so I just figured I'd talk to you after you were done. I didn't think you'd go outside though! Seriously! You're butt must really be super packed, or something..."

"...what? No really, are you here just to hit on me? No offense, but I'm not gay, John."

Wow, you don't ever think you've seen someone's face look like Rudolph's nose. He wasn't blushing, he was beaming. 

"I'm not gay!"  
He's definitely gay. Yup.

"Sorry, I was just kidding."

"It's fine. It's just...I think out loud a lot so...and last time you didn't care about the cold either."

"Uh...yeah." Well this was awkward. Oh wow look, your sandwich is so attractive right now. You should just stuff it in your mouth and stop gaping at John. You thought he was just awkwardly annoying, now he'd awkwardly weird.

By the time you finish eating, both of you hadn't said a word. He had asked to eat lunch with you, because he wanted to deepen your 'friendship bond' or something like that. You agreed, only to get him off your back. It seemed like he was fucking everywhere you went! You thought Harley was bad, but at least her questions weren't annoying and personal. Nothing you had said to him in the past week had gotten through to him, so you offered to sit with him during lunch. In exchange, he promised to cool it, a lot. But if you'd known it'd be this weird, maybe you wouldn't have offered. Then again, he is keeping his huge mouth shut so...

"Hey Karkat!" Dammit. Damn it all.

"What, Egbert?"

"So there's a really neat party this Friday! I was wondering, if you wanted to come?" Of course John fucking Egbert would be there. Is it best to lie, and say you weren't going? But he'd never shut up if he saw you there. And you don't know how well you could hide for three hours with crazed hormonal zombies lumbering around. Best to tell the truth, and make up some excuse later if you do see him.

"Yeah, I know. I'm going with a friend."  
Despite your coolness about it, he looks disappointed, but still smiles.

"Oh. Well, that's great! Cuz um...I was going with some of my friends, and was going to ask you if you wanted to go with us."

You shrug, and cross your arms. Ok, so maybe it was a bit cold. (You were freezing.) But you weren't going to say that, you had to seem in control. Plus, lunch was about over anyways. Standing up, you grab your paper bag, and stuff it into your pocket.

"Well, Egbert, this was truly the epitome of lunches. I can finally lie down and die, knowing that I've finally dined with King Egbert the Doof. So, with tears in my crust filled eyes, I bid you a fucking farewell."

"Geesh Karkat. You're pretty much a motor mouth, huh?"

Really? Oh no, he didn't. The sequel.   
You give him an unamused scowl, and start to walk off. That is, until you trip on a patch of ice, and fall right on your face. 

 

After that, Egbert helped you up, and you went your separate ways. You haven't seen him since that Wednesday. But, you'll probably see him soon. 

You hate parties.

You could hear Sollux on the phone with someone as he walked to your door. You told him not to knock, you didn't know if your dad would be home earlier when Sollux talked to you today. He wasn't home yet, so you opened your creaky, and painfully stubborn window. You yell down for him to come in, since he already knows where your key is hidden, he let's hisself in. 

You take deep breathes as Gamzee instructs, though, not in as little words. You calm your 'miraculous mind' and prepare yourself. It was just a party, and you were going to....hide in a closet and hurry up and go home. Ok, yeah. That seemed like a good plan. You and Gamzee go downstairs. 

You are going to be the best party recluse ever.


	13. Be The Nauseous Party Recluse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat loses his guts, has several 'not moments' with John, and introduces his party date to his dad. *This is a joke, however no Karkats were harmed in the making of this fanfic.  
> **Also if you are against/affected by puking, paragraphs 3 & 4 should be avoided

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a few things. I went on vacay, and was out of service. Got back, and I'm back in school. Also if you haven't read the short mini fics about John and Karkat in first grade yet, you should before this chapter to understand some things. Anyway, on a nonrelated note, I was wondering if anyone wanted to be my beta reader? I think that's what it's called. I need to be nudged from time to time, and I'd like to go over the chapters with someone before I post them. So that way, everyone could read better chapters and have them more often. If anyone was slightly interested, could you leave a comment or something? (Sorry if this is pretty dumb to ask about this in the chapter note. :( ) Also, this chapter has throwing up/puking in it. If you have issues with that, avoid paragraphs 3 & 4.

Twenty minutes in and you are already the most nauseous party recluse ever.

You're going to puke. Everyone's screaming as though they're being murdered by a psychotic clown, the music is so loud you can feel your guts pounding. Or that may be from the overwhelming stench of beer that's polluting your nostrils and making your stomach slosh around as though 2Girls1Cup had a baby with Puberty and named it 'Oh Shit The Bile's Coming Up.'

You've never run into someone's bathroom that fast in your life. You slam open the door, and it bangs against the wall so hard that even you noticed it in your rushed state to the toilet. 

It hurt your stomach pushing out all that most likely spit-in lemonade you had been obsessed with chugging down in the first five minutes. You remember that it tasted as bad as it does the second time around, but it smelled funny enough to clog up your nose from the smells. The acid's burning your throat, and it tastes horrible. It looks just as bad too, it's like you're pissing from your mouth. Why the hell are you noticing all these things? It's just making you puke more. 

You start and stop about three times. By the third time around, you're half asleep; exhausted by the energy it takes to puke your entire weight in stomach fluids and gross lemonade. When you finally stop, you sit up, debate on whether you will feel guilty over stealing a towel and smearing it with your guts, decide no, then reach over to the cabinet to look for a towel.

But there's already a towel in front your face. And actually, there's a hand on your back. And your hair is pulled back from your face, something too tight and fuzzy is holding it back. 

You look behind the obviously not floating towel, and meet those annoying blue eyes that have been following you everywhere for the past week. Were they ever bright before? Bathroom lights make everything brighter...

"Are you okay now? I think there might've been something wrong with those drinks. Someone probably spiked them."

You take the towel from the Egbutt, and wipe your mouth slowly, breathing in the clean smell and wiping away the barf and its smell. You can't believe you just got nursed by the Egnuisance at a party, in the bathroom of who even fucking knows's house. Note to yourself, come up with better names for Egbert when not high from bathroom fumes.

"You've been here how long?" 

"Well, to be honest, heh, you ran in on me."

"I what?!"  
What all exactly was in that toilet?

"Not like that! I wasn't doing anything. Not like that, anyway. Some girl was, um...trying to 'persuade' me. And then you ran in! And...started spilling your guts in the toilet. So, she got grossed out and left. And I've been here...since then. Helping. My friend. Hehehe."  
He just 'hehehe'd. That would probably sound weird in this situation if it was anyone else but him. Somehow it seemed normal for him.

"Well...I'd say thanks, but you seem so fucking aroused over the fact that we're 'friends' it would be redundant."  
He laughed at you, or rather, maybe with you. You must have thrown up your brain and caution as well.

"Yeah, I saw you drinking all that lemonade earlier. I was going to go say hi, but you kinda seemed like you didn't want to talk to anyone, or even be here."  
Maybe he wasn't as dense as he seemed.

"Yeah. B-I-N-G-Fuckin' O and Egbert was his name oh."

"You know, I'm getting used to how you talk Karkat. And as much as I'd love to sit here and chat, you probably need a new shirt, and some air. Seriously? It smells."

You decided the dork was right, and let him help you. Maybe you drank a stomach flu too, because you were feeling pretty weird and hot. At least you'd have an excuse from school. 

He flushed your mess, helped you find an unopened toothbrush and the toothpaste, and led you to a closet to get a shirt. He took you outside, on the deck, where it was cold enough no one was there. He left to get you some water, and 'various other things' as he put it.

It was still Fall, but you could see your breath already. But maybe that was typical for Fall nights. You wouldn't know, you were always locked in your room at night. It had become a habit to avoid your old man. It was better than facing the problem, because that got you a black eye and nosey people all in your business. With their pity. Ech. 

When you hear someone inside laughing, you turn around. You notice you haven't even registered Gamzee's absence since you got here. But that was normal you guess. He wasn't fond of large groups of people. But you missed the clown. He was always a pretty comforting person when he wasn't being annoying. After all, he was your best friend. You fidget around a bit, deciding on whether to call him or not. You look back inside through the glass sliding doors, figure John's not going to come back. 

So, even he was embarrassed to be by you, even platonically. That's why Terezi left. Because you were someone no one wanted to be seen with. Everyone was like that sooner or later. Well, minus Gamzee. 

He didn't mind your 'roughness' and your quirks. He understood how you needed space. He knew you. And, maybe you needed him. He's the only person you know that won't abandon you. You throw the worry of sounding like even more of an idiot than you are away, and you yell his name.

"I'm right on the under upside here my chocolate lookin' brother." You feel hands on your shoulders. Jumping, you turn around to face him, but there's nothing there but a view of his ridiculous clown pants. He's standing on top of the patio table looking down at you with his head cocked.

"Gamzee! Where the ever-loving fuck have you been?!" He blinks, and then smiles. 

"Every nowhere there's ever been somewhere ever to be."

"Is that even English?" He shrugs and jumps down, in a way that reminds you of a gorilla. Then he finds interest in your face. He puts two fingers smeared with something sticky in your cheeks and spreads them in a form of a smile.

"You look elephant times better when you smile, brah. You needs to really up an' listen to them happy cells in your think pan that are tryin' to have themselves a mother fuckin' party. But the serious tie cells keep murderin' all of the little guys. Sad face." You slap his hands away and fight the grin on your face. You probably look constipated.

"Okay, okay. I get it, Makara, I get it. No, don't wipe your hands on my face. Hey!"

"Hey, Karkat? I'm back." For the second time in less than ten minutes, you turn around startled. John's standing there with a huge pile of quilts or something that make him look smaller than usual. Actually, he looks like a girl, trying so hard to carry all the stuff he brought. He walks over, or rather waddles, until he gets to the patio table Gamzee was just on a few seconds ago. 

"Sorry it took me so long. Everyone was dancing, I think. It was more like, they were having a body slamming contest. Hehe. Anyway, I thought since we both aren't interested in drinking ourselves stupid, we could hang out outside, and I stole a bunch of snacks. Well, not stole! More like, they were set out but no one used them much, besides for ammo." While he rambled on about the stuff he got, you wondered why he hadn't addressed Gamzee. He was too tall, and too weird not to acknowledge. He set the quilts on the concrete patio and threw you a smaller one after he sat down. You followed his lead, and sat down.

"So, who were you talking to?" Finally. You turned around to gesture for Gamzee to sit, but he was gone. Weird. He usually told you he was going to leave.

"Uh...no one." Egbert nodded, and you both ate your cheese cubes in silence. Once in a while, you'd get crazy and make a cracker sandwich. 

"This is fun. Egbert, you throw the best mini parties."

"Yup, the just two dudes watching the stars and eating cheese cubes and crackers outside in thirty degree weather theme is so popular."

"Better than watching everyone lose their senses after getting drunk. I don't see the fascination of drinking something to act absolutely retard, and then wake up feeling like shit because of said desire of being stupid."

"Maybe, they just want to show off. Or maybe they just wanna forget. Parties are supposed to be a fun get away right? I know if I didn't meet you in that bathroom, I'd probably be doing the same."

"...The smell of beer makes me sick."

"Haha, yeah. I could tell. I'm the same with other things. Everyone's got something like that. You aren't the only one."

"Duh. I'm not stupid like you." That was so weak. You really gotta work on your comebacks.

"Well, you sounded like that was a big confession or something."

"Shut up, shit for brains." He laughed and you went back to your silence. For like, twenty seconds. Then he opened his big mouth again.

"Why haven't I met you before? I mean, since I bumped into you. Are you new?" You laugh. It's been a while since you've done that.

"I've been in the same house my entire seventeen years of hell. And the same highschool since freshman year. I don't stand out much. And I like it like that."

"Oh. Okay. Well, same for me. 'Cept, I moved here during middle school. Though it wasn't that far away. Just a different house and neighborhood. What middle school did you go to?"

"Franklin."

"Wow, same. That's weird. You sure we've never met before?" 

"If we did, I'm pretty sure one of us would remember. You're too infuriating to forget, and I probably would've made you cry. I did that a lot back then."

"Oh. So you were a bully."

"Not really. Kids just liked to fuck around and mess with me because of sone things, so I'd yell at them and make them cry. Verbal self defense."

"I get it. How about elementary?" You shrug.

"I don't remember. I skipped a lot. I went to the same one Sollux and like half the other kids in the junior class went to."

"I was home-schooled after first grade. My dad kind of didn't want to let me go yet, haha."

"So, you were a spoiled brat."

"No! It was just me and him back then, so he was a little nervous about me. He was really doting though, I guess. He used to make cakes all the time. Actually, I got sick of cake because he made it for every occasion. Like when I learn how to ride a bike, he made one with bike decorations made of icing. And since it was just the two of us, we had to eat the entire thing ourselves. And he didn't believe in making smaller, two person sized cakes. I'm surprised that I don't have a mouth full of cavities! Well, maybe I was a little spoiled." 

"Yeah, a little."

"So what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Were you spoiled?"

"No. Maybe a little, before my parents divorced. But that was when I was little, so I don't have many memories of living in fairytale land." 

"Oh. I'm sorry, if it makes you feel better, my mom's dead." You think you broke your neck, you spun to look at him so fast. That and your eyes must be halfway put their sockets now. Who the hell says something like that? 

"What the fuck, Egbert?"

"Ah!! Wait! I meant to console you! Like bond over the whole single parent thing! She died soon after I was born so, it's not sad. I mean it is! Like, I always wanted a mom, but I meant it's not like I miss her or anything because she wasn't there to begin with! Wait no, that sounds like I'm rubbing it in you fa--"

You watch as the dirty snow, that you had scraped off the grass, slid down his face mid-sentence. He needed to learn how to shut up. 

"Egbert, I swear sometimes you have a bigger mouth than me. When you are entering the land of awkward and you see that foreboding sign some idiot who thought putting that stupid old sign would prevent other idiots from entering said land of horrid awkwardness because when you say 'fuck this correctly placed sign of advice' and walk past it like the dick you have to be to deny that idiots sign, then--" You now have a mouth of a dirt, and snow smoothie. 

You had finally gotten him to a crouched position, and you were putting icicles down his back, when you both heard giggling. Familiar giggling. The giggling that sounded more like cackling, but still made your heart melt, and gave your stomach a severe butterfly infection. That was Terezi laughing. Since when was she here? Sollux didn't mention her coming, and you never would've come if you knew she was there. The fuck nugget knew she would be coming, he just didn't tell you. You were too pissed and nervous to even think about how dumb fuck nugget sounded.

You were going to throw up again.

"Karkat? What's wrong? Hey, is someone over there? Let's go check it out!" He pulled you with him to go closer to the house, so you could look around the side to see Terezi and mystery person. 

Some blonde dude was standing next to her, his back to you, and she was all in his face giggling. You hear Egbert mutter a faintly disappointed 'Dave' under his breath. She slides her hand up his back, and she giggles. You hear Dave mutter something, and she cackles, licking his cheek. She used to do that to you. You thought it was a little weird, but it was cute, and it was just like her, so you didn't care at all. Besides she usually did that when she was about to kiss you.

You turned around, but even then you could hear them. You were going to puke again. That, or cry, and you weren't about to cry in front of Egbert. Speaking of which, he was still staring. Either he was a perv, or something else was going on there. He turned around, grabbed you by the hand, yet again, and led you through the house, out to the front yard, and down the street in the opposite direction from your heartbreak's catalyst. On the way out, you saw Egbert grab a bottle off the table.

Because neither of you had a place to go in your sorrow, and because you just happened to stop by your house when you noticed your partner in party escaping started staring at the bottle in his hand a little darkly, you went home. Thankfully, your dad wasn't home, well it was a Friday night. You think he went to happy hour someplace on Friday nights. You walk up the stairs with Egbert behind you, hoping he'd ignore the beer bottles everywhere. 

Nope. He slipped on one and fell down the stairs. You should have warned him. 

After you get some ice on his head, you both end up sitting on your floor. Similar to how it was before Terezi and Dave happened. Obviously, one of you was going to say something, so you might as well ask first.

"So you didn't like what you saw either, I take it." He seems startled you started a conversation. He'd probably add it to his scrapbook of friendship, along with replicas of the candy wrappers he gave you, but considering what the conversation was about, probably not. 

"Uh, yeah. You too. I, um, heard you and Terezi were a thing. Sorry you saw that, that sucks."

"It was going to happen. Just didn't think it would be so soon, but maybe that's why the whole 'break up' thing happened."

"So, what actually happened between you two anyway? If you don't mind me asking? I mean, you're probably fine, but I thought it might be nice for you to talk about it."

"It's fine. She dumped my sorry ass. Said I wasn't giving her enough attention. I think she just got bored of dating the weirdo. She was embarrassed to be with me." You turn away from him. You may or may not feel like crying. Goodness, you're so emotional.

"Well, I don't think you're weird, or embarrassing. I think you're pretty neat. And interesting."

"Uh...thanks? So what about you? Why were you upset?" 

"Well, Uh..."

"I don't care if you're gay or not. It's fine by me."

"I'm not gay. We were just, experimenting. He was my first, you know? Even though, no one but us, and I guess now you, know about it. I broke it off, because like I said, I'm not gay. But I still don't like that. She's the first for him, that I've known of, since me. So, I guess, just a little misplaced jealousy. Haha..." So obviously, from what he just said, he was gay, in denial, and liked Dave even though he broke his heart in order to seem straight. See? You still have it.

"Well, that's normal. Have you moved on?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah. I dated a handful of girls since then. But I stopped dating for a while, it's just too much work. I'd rather be friends with everyone than have all this extra drama. I'd ask how about you, but, um, I can pretty much tell." He couldn't fall for anyone else. Oh wow, this could be a great movie probably. Or a book. Hell, even a fanfic. You'd have to pitch the idea to Kanaya, with fake names and, some changes, of course.

"Yeah...guess we're just the happiest fucking people on earth." 

"Yeah. Hey, Karkat?" 

"Hmm?"

"I think we'll make very good friends."

"Shut up, Egbert. You're ruining the moment we're not having." He giggles, and pokes you four times in the side.

"Fuck no. We aren't doing that poking shit." One more poke.  

"For fucks' sake, Egbert, I will throw you out in the cold." Three pokes. 

You tackle him. The lemonade must still be in your system. Both of you fight for dominance as you roll around your floor. You notice he's bony and really light. You'd notice his clothes looked pretty dingy too. A thought of worry passes through your mind as he manages to flip you over. You decide to give it a rest, and let him claim victory. Or what seems more like trying to catch his breath for two hours. You thought you were out of shape. 

"Yay. You won. Your prize isss, to get off me, douchebag."

"Haha. Sore loser." You wonder if he knows he's the one still panting. 

"No, you are creating an awkward moment again."

"No, I'm not. Awkward would be this." He plops down on you. What the shit?

"Egbert..."

"Awkward would be this!" He makes a ridiculous seductive face, that if told your life depended on it, you'd admit looked good on him. Then he cups your face, and snuggles into you. 

Thinking 'What the fuck. Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck?!'is the only thing you can do, while he lowers his face down to yours. Oh fuck, you can smell it, he must've been drinking sometime that night. That's the only reason he's doing this, right? 

His lips press against yours, and they're surprisingly soft, even in your frozen state. His eyes are closed by now, and he's slightly pulling on your lip with his own. You can't help but wonder when was the last time you kissed Terezi. It had to be more than a few months. You find yourself letting him kiss you, it feels a lot similar to how Terezi used to kiss you too. But this is still freaky, and wrong. Even if he still looks and feels like a girl a bit. 

You just sit there as he plays with your lips and puts his fingers in your hair. You wonder if this'll only last a few seconds, or several minutes before he stops. You can't seem to push him off. You're too  freaked to move. You notice the tears running down his face when you hear the door slam.

John jumps off you, and you swear he looks so shocked, he was going shit his pants. Though, whether it's because he woke up from his dream (?) and saw he was kissing a dude, or from the slam, you don't know. Could be both. You don't move as you're trying to listen to see where your dad is about to go, and you are still silently freaking out about your first gay kiss.

You hear his sloppy steps from the door, to the fridge. He opens it, and you know he pulls out the last beer. You hear the refrigerator door close, and hear him stumble over to couch, fall on it, then turn on and watch tv. 

"Dad's home. You should hurry and leave, while he's preoccupied. He might not go to sleep for a while." John wipes his face, and nods. 

You lead him quietly downstairs, but you keep forgetting to move those bottles, and they clink and clank against each other. You can practically hear the alarm in your dad's head. 

"Karkat!" You really wish your house were bigger. John could've gotten out by now. Now he was going to see this.

"Who the hell is this?" He jams his face into yours, his breath reeks, just like the way it always does. You could smell the beer on John's breath too, but it didn't smell bad like this, if anything, it smelled sweet.

"A friend, dad." He jams his thick finger in your chest, pushing you into John. You can tell this is about to get bad.  

"Didn't I tell you not to bring any girls home?! You think it's fun to fool around, and you fuck with a few of them! Next thing you know, one of 'ems pregnant and is demanding you live with 'em and shit. You gotta take care of the maggot, and it's bitch of a mother and work all damn day to take care of the thing. And even when you do everything, and treat the bitch fucking perfect, you turn around and she's fucking half your friends, and gets pregnant with some other unlucky bastard! Then she leaves you flat on your face. No, she leaves one maggot behind, to remind you of her every fucking day. And he just looks so much like her and you, that you just wanna squeeze his neck until he's dead!" 

He grabs you by the neck and whips you around against the door. You try pulling his hands off you, but he's too strong, and kicking him's like kicking a wall. You can feel your face getting tighter. You see John pounding away at his back, but he's focused on you. You hate when he's drunk. You hate him. You hate your mother. If she hadn't left, you wouldn't be half way to unconsciousness. You manage to kick him in the balls. 

He bowls over, cupping around himself, while you grab John and run out the door. You forgot to put shoes on, and you get glass in your foot, but you don't even care right now. You just don't even care.

You tell John to go home. When he tries to ask you questions, you tell him you'll talk to him Monday, at school. You assure him that you have somewhere to go, and you watch him walk down his street, and walk into his house. You were going to have to visit her. Even though, her mother was the last person you needed to see. Well, she was the mother of you both, you guess. Kind of. 

You throw a rock at her window. You would not be going in through the front door. 

"Nepeta! Wake up! Nepeta!"


	14. Be The Horrible Kitty Girl *Bonus*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta thinks about cats and cucumbers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a bonus chapter, well, two.   
> By the way, thank you all for the comments I've received (on and off of AO3), and the kudos and bookmarks! You all are so nice, and I love the feedback!  
> Ok, that's it, please enjoy the bonus chapters.

You are excited. The kind of excited you should never be when you see your older brother.  
The kind of excitement you should never feel in your belly, when you sneak him into your room. But that is not the problem right now, Karkat is. You can yell at yourself later.

You lead him into your fabulously kitty decorated room, at which Karkat announces that you've added more 'crap'. In your head, you whisper assurances to your stuffed cats, telling them he's just upset. You wonder how he'll react to your new, REAL kitties. Half of everything in your room is crap though, but you keep them for sentimental reasons.

After you fix up his foot, and get him some water, he tells you everything that happened that night. You nod as you listen, while petting your white cat you still haven't named yet. 

You wonder what he would say to you if he knew that you've done all those things he loathed so much. Sure, tons of girls lost their virginity at sixteen. But Karkat hadn't done more than a little bit of kissing, with that bitch, as far as you know. And, well, the drinking, you couldn't rationalize that, or the weed, or the threesomes. 

Hopefully, he didn't find out. He just needed to see you in the light of his innocent, cute little sister. But the reason you wanted him to look at you that way, was for selfish reasons.

You ask him questions, like how he felt when the boy kissed him.  
He tells you his name is John, and says he was freaked out. You know he liked it, he never calls people he doesn't like, or accept by their first name. 

If you just leaned over, you could kiss him. He was within arms reach. You could smell him, and inhale that mix of boy and sweetness. You could kiss his soft skin, and hear all the squeaks and moans he'd make. You could kiss him, and taste him, and make him moan so loud you'd have to stop to make him shut up. But you wouldn't stop. You'd pull his too tight jeans off his perfectly round ass, and you'd see him again. You'd would--

"Nepeta! You ok?! Hey!" You blush.

"Sorry, Karkitty, I was purrusing something impurrtant. I didn't mean to make you worry apawt me!" His face grimaces at all your ridiculous cat puns, but he laughs. You only do them for him, because it makes you seem more innocent, and unlike his peers; vulgar, crude, abusive.

You're name is Nepeta Leijon, and you are a sick fuck, who's in love with your older brother and you hate it.


	15. Be The Failing Father *Bonus*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dadbert, more like Dad drunk.  
> *I can't make this chapter sound funny/happy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so, this is a revealing bonus chapter. If you figure out what's being revealed, you get a cookie.

It's two in the morning when you hear John sneak in. You put down your drink, ashamed. There used to be a time where you despised the drinking without an occasion. There used to be a time where you and John would be asleep together by this time, because he just wanted to watch one more show. And you had obliged him.

Now, you didn't know what John was up to. Or what any of your children were doing. But to be honest, you didn't even feel like they were your kids. And they weren't, not technically. You adopted them, when you used to work at an adoption center. 

The whole reason you switched from your desk job, was so John could have some kids to play with, that didn't know about him.  And so he could have fun, and not be lonely, when he was reminded he didn't have a mother. 

But you got in over your head. And adopted three children. It was fine, until your heart attack. You were scared, you became depressed, and you stayed at home more. When you finally mustered up the courage to go back to work, the agency had been relocated, and your old desk job had been reassigned. No one else in town needed an old man. There were no jobs.

So you sold. Whatever you could. It got to a ridiculous point, but even then, you couldn't feed and clothe five mouths, not including yourself. So you reached out, and you found someone. You were a salesman. You just sold things that weren't legal. Every two weeks, a package would appear on your doorstep, with maybe a toy drum, or an appliance box inside. And inside that, would be whatever substance you needed to sell. 

You weren't paid a lot for it, but it helped, especially in between jobs. But lately, you haven't been getting them as regularly. You got a note saying that the packages were intercepted by someone in town. You were reassured it wasn't the police. You were also told, your cut would be downsized, and failure to sell because of it would result in the harming of your children. There was no longer a way out.

So you were sending Roy, Casey, Nate, and Spencer off to an uncle of yours. He ran a farm, and his daughters and sons had plenty of other children they could play with. They'd be clothed, feed, and plenty of space to play in. They would leave tomorrow afternoon.

You couldn't send John away though. Not him. You loved him, you'd miss him, you were only still alive because if him.

But the way things were now, it's as though you aren't even his father. You were once so proud of him, and you still are, but you've dirtied him. And every time you look at him, you see your failure. The failure that if his mother were here, he would be perfectly whole again.

You miss your wife. You miss your son. You miss your daughter. 

You croak out one name as you double over, feeling like the wind was knocked out of you.

"Joan."


	16. Become The Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gamzee lets us in on a secret. Honk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OFFICIALLY BACK  
> Unless...I already said that...ahahahahaha...haaa...  
> I have my laptop back, so no more IPod updates. (YAY! SPELLCHECK! ITALICS! BOLDED WORDS!)  
> So I have someone helping me now too (<3 to that person who I don't think is on AO3 but I will post a link to their FF thingy later) so updates will be periodic now. FOR SURE. OKAY? I PROMISE  
> This chapter is a little short because it's one of the few solo chapters Gamzee will have for the remainder of the fic. He's not gone though. Also, I was told this was really FEELS worthy. I didn't get much sad from it, but I guess be prepared. Haha.  
> After this update, I will update once every week for shorter chapters, once every two weeks for longer chapters. There won't be a set word # anymore though. If I get time, I MIGHT even draw some stuffs.  
> 'Kay I'm done ranting. ENJOY AND THANKS FOR READING AND COMMENTING AND KUDOS I LOVE YOU ALL  
> also my tumblr is terrifins but i may change it, or delete it and make a new one sometime soon. Jus' sayin'  
> (also (i lied) i have another fic that's aradia/equius/sollux its here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/652239/chapters/1187576 )

You watch as he continues to stare out his window, the same he’s done for three hours.  
You don’t bother to say anything to him, because he wants silence, to feel nothing. Nothing but the thoughts echoing around his mind. 

You have become the nearly forgotten. 

Somehow, despite him still acknowledging you, you can feel him turning away from you. Your friendship since forever seems to mean nothing, and you are okay with this. 

You are just merely a memory. A long forgotten memory of a boy who was nothing more than a playmate in days of his childish innocence. 

Despite wanting the best for him, you can honestly never help him. Nothing you say will bring him out of this dead like trance. He languidly walks with clouded eyes, and his mind is smothered in sorrow-laced misery. And the more he thinks, the more he forgets you, and the more he forgets you, the less purpose you have. He is your painter, and you are the painting. You are slowly beginning to fade away.

You blame him. 

The one who confused Karkat, the one who threw him into the pit of his own insecurities. His name is John Egbert. Blue Eyes was starting to become worse than Terezi.

You heard the story of what had happened last Saturday, though you already knew what had happened before Karkat even thought of telling you. He told you about the blind bitch, omitting some painful details he thought you didn’t know, about the deluded kiss John stole, and about Mr. Vantas’s drunken episode. He told you he was confused, that he was upset, that he didn’t know what to do. He whispered that he didn’t want to do anything. You just did as he wanted you to, he wanted to be held, and told everything would be alright. So you whispered the softly mumbled assurances, the lies that said you would take care of everything, that you would make him happy again.

But you can’t. 

Because you aren’t real.

You aren’t here. 

You are merely a ghost of the past, walking only in the eyes of one; in the land of the living.

And you wish he never finds out. That he’s truly alone.  
That he has no one, and he is a pariah in his own little world. If he ever figured out that you were just a twisted projection of the love and warmth he wanted, no, needed to feel, you are sure he would be thrown off the edge. And neither Karkat Vantas, nor Gamzee would exist, just a mix of despair, and pain in a mold of a boy.

 

By the time Karkat stands up, it’s only to use the bathroom. He does it silently, but smiles at you as he walks past, completely unaware he’s only smiling at a doll he used to hate. You listen to the thuds as he goes down the stairs that creak, as you follow him without being. You feel like the creaks, while you can touch and feel the stairs, the creak is only an echo of the stairs’ existence. A part of the stairs, while being a totally different thing. 

Your name is Gamzee, and you are fading away.


	17. Be The Heart Broken Jester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John can't decide between being a drama queen or being annoying, or you know, maybe jumping off a cliff. Haha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um. Forget schedules. School and career ambitions and friends are important kids. Stay in school.  
> Me: t3rr1 @DA t3rr131 @YouTube terrisberris @Tumblr  
> My Beta: pantlesspage @Tumblr
> 
> ^That's all if you want to yell at me, or look at my Beta's awesome blog

You sulk while Dave plays his dumb ass skateboarding game. You fail to see his fascination in it, besides the shitty graphics. He's never ridden a skateboard once in his entire life. He once fell off one though. You glare at the back of his head, trying to make it explode. After him, it would be Terezi, and then your Dad.

Your Dad was the number one douchebag of the year, and you were going to be so psyched to hand him that trophy of whoop-ass. Okay, yeah, no. But still...

 

The kids had been gone for almost two weeks now, and everything was a mess. Except it wasn’t. The house was painfully quiet, clean, and there was a full fridge, because you refused to eat in your silent protest. Even when your Dad insisted you eat dinner together every night, you just pushed the plate he made you away and pouted. Sure it was childish, but he’d done something irreversible, without going to consult you, or rather all of you first. There was no explanation besides that they had to go for a while, and that you had to be home at a certain time at night, and let him know where and when you were going somewhere, AND you had to pull your grades up. When you asked why they had to leave, he’d say because they had to, when you asked why you had to be at home at a certain time and report your every move to him when you never had to before, he’d tell you because you had to. And whenever he walked in you, and your books weren’t out, he’d actually start lecturing you. He’d never lectured you before, he’d always been proud of all the things you did, your C’s were always cake worthy before. Now they were only worth lectures; long, boring lectures on college and futures.

 

And that was just at home. The Karkat fiasco had completely been burning a hole in your mind. Your memory of what happened was blurry, but you remember most of it. When you tried confronting Karkat, he’d stare right past you and walk away. That was the worst reaction you think he could give you. If he was angry, you could deal with that, or sad, or even happy. But you didn’t know what that look meant. You asked Captor about it reluctantly, and he just shrugged, and didn’t offer to ask for you. All he said is that he’d been weird recently. You wanted to ask why he didn’t know, as his friend, or why he wasn’t at least curious enough to ask. But you didn’t, you didn’t need to fuck things up even more. You didn’t even know what you would tell Karkat when you did talk to him. You didn’t know what you wanted, and you didn’t know if you should. Maybe this was the break you needed, you didn’t need to be close to him. Or anyone else you had “business” with. (Even though you were the one that had been pursuing him...for friendship.)

 

You were not ready for the assault that Dave’s nasty, gross, butt smelling hand had on your nose. He had snuck up on you when you were busy thinking and glaring craters into his dumb head. You struggle to get him off you, you are sure you don’t want to die because of butt hand; maybe you’d be on that one show. You end up elbowing him in the chin, surprisingly, and he falls back, grabbing onto your shirt, pulling you down. You aren’t really sure what’s happening as he twists you around and somehow gets you underneath him, but you’re pretty sure it isn’t good. At all. You try laughing it off, and calling him out on his butt smell hand.

 

“My hand does not smell like butt. It smells like Doritos and you. So you smell like butt. Egbutt.”

 

“Dave, that was the most original crack I’ve ever heard. I am so impressed, I may cry. Now get off me.”

 

“I don’t feel like it Egbutt. I am actually pretty tired. Or maybe I am stuck, maybe I was struck with one of those tractor beams from an alien UFO and it broke after they had weird alien sex with their hands and all their hand sex sweat dripped onto the controls and froze me forever.”

 

“That’s so bullshitty I can’t even pretend to like it. Come on, get up.”

 

“No can do bro, these aliens are too busy doing their mambo to fix me.”

 

“Dave...”

 

“John.”

 

“DAVE!”

 

“Chill out. I’m just getting a good look at your face. I could go blind tomorrow and never remember what my best friend looked like.”

 

“Best friends don’t play gay chicken with each other without announcing it first!”

 

“Well...it’s not like...it’s exactly gay, is it?”

 

You punched him. It hurt like hell, but you think you may have crushed his nose along with your hand. He fell back and cupped his cheek. Maybe you missed. His pale cheek looked irritated as he rubbed at it, and you crawled backwards away from him. Your heart is pounding as you stand up to leave. You trip over a smuppet, and hef catches you by the arm.

 

“Wait, John I’m sorry. I don’t know what...I just---”

 

You aren't sure why you are friends with Dave anymore. You aren't sure if he was always like this, you think maybe he's always been a jerk.

 

"Go cry to Terezi, Dave. I'm not here because you need a quick lay, and I'm tired of being thrown around by all your bullcrap. If you want to be friends, cool. But I can't handle you trying to make this, us, happen when I don't want it to. And right now I can't even call you my best bro." You sigh and leave, you don't even acknowledge Bro in his sailor outfit as you walk out the door.

 

You kept walking after you left Dave’s place, and ended up somewhere you wish you hadn’t. You are close to the outside of town, which means you are by the creepy, creepy graveyard. Besides the fact that you are at a place where dead bodies are festering under the ground you walk, you are more unnerved that you were able to get to get here from Dave’s. Which is not close to any graveyards at all. You are pretty certain you are seconds from pissing your pants when you hear a scream. You piss your pants and start to walk away from the sound of the scream, but you see something coming towards you.

 

It’s the figure of a girl, you can tell by the small frame, and the long black hair whipping in the nonexistent wind. You are going to die. You are going to die a virgin, and wow that sucks. You have the worst life. You didn’t say goodbye to your Dad, or the kids, or Jade and Rose, or Karkat. Fuck Dave. Oh gosh, wow. You’re wet, and scared, and cold, and this ghost-zombie-whatever thing is coming to kill you and eat your brains. Maybe it wouldn’t eat your brains, maybe it would just eat you. NO. Not the kind of thoughts you should be thinking, but you are stuck in place as she (?) comes closer and closer to you. You close your eyes and try not to breath as it’s moments away from tearing you apart.

 

“Ahaha. Sorry, did I scare you too bad?”

 

You open an eye, and nearly pee again from pure relief. The she was a she, but not a monster, or a ghost. Just a really weird girl who smiles in a graveyard. She holds out a hand to you, to help you up from the ground. You watch as she looks down, and smirks. Oh. Right. You take your jacket and tie it around your waist, which may have made it worse. Now you had a wet jacket, pants, and cold arms. You hope it’s dark enough that she won’t notice anything. She smiles at you and curtsies.

 

“I’m Aradia, and you are?”

 

“...John? Um. Why are you--”

 

“In a graveyard? Because I love the dead.”

 

“Are you insane?”

 

“No. I might be Hispanic though. Maybe.”

 

“Oh...okay. You celebrate the whole death thing don’t you? Isn’t that in May? It’s almost December...”

 

“I may have been lying.”

 

“Um...”

 

“The dead are a lot more comfortable to converse with than living flesh. Well, animals are okay. People are irritating though. So. What brings you to my realm tonight? Isn't it time for the 'normal' people to be asleep?"

 

"Well, I kinda, tried to go home? But I'm here somehow?" You are not conversing with an insane girl are you? Maybe when you fell down, you broke your head. She stares at you in concentration, before pulling a bag off her back. She unzips it, and pulls out a dingy old hat, you think it might be a fedora, like the ones your Dad used to wear. She puts it on her head and turns, motioning for you to follow her. When you don’t, she walks back and pulls you by the hand.

 

She takes you to a gated ledge of some sort, looking over a small pit, about the size of two squised together bodies. Yeah, you hate graveyards. As you look around, there are dozens of grave stones, crosses and circles, or plain rectangular ones. Most of them are old and scraggly, but the ones surrounding the ledge are clean and decorated with flowers.

 

“If you’re wondering why these are nice, it’s because I cleaned them. Took me a while, but I’m glad. One day I hope to fix them all up, they deserve it. I didn’t know any of them when they were alive, but I know them now. They are all such sweethearts, and it’s horrible that they’re friends and family don’t visit, and clean their graves up. All because they either forget, busy with their meaningless lives, trying to make a future out of dreams. People don’t realize the past holds more importance that what they think. Every elderly woman or man I’ve met, is shuffled around like a child, or treated sweetly because their families want something from them when they die. But old people know they will die, and they aren’t afraid, they embrace it. It’s the sweet relief from the Hell that is this world. The politics of everything, the fighting, the arrogance and stupidity, the humanity. Being alive is just a trial until we die, die a sweet death. Where we can be free and careless.” There’s a light in her eyes, as you listen to her spout out some pretty heavy stuff. You are pretty it’s just the moonlight, but you can tell she’s harmless, just crazy. But she might have a point with the people being horrible thing.

 

“Anyway, the reason I brought you over here, is because someone brought you to me because I can help you.”

 

“Someone?”

 

“Yes, someone who loved you very much, and passed away must have been following you. They brought you to me because they think you need help, and they trust me. I’ve probably cleaned their grave, or at least just talked to them. Do you know anyone like that?”

 

“Look, I don’t know why you’re so fixed on dead people, but I doubt any of that’s real. I loved Ghostbusters as a kid, but even when I was twelve I knew it was total bull crap out of a movie. Ghosts aren’t real. And there’s certainly not one haunting me.”

 

“I wish I had something to show you. But, it’s a woman. She kind of looks like you. Is she your mother?”

 

You follow her line of sight, over your shoulder, but there’s nothing there.

 

“My...mother? She died, when I was little. I barely remember her. Who are you?!”

 

“She says that everything will be ok, and that you need to go home to your father. She says she misses you.”

 

“Shut up! Stop making shit up!” You close your eyes and cover your ears, but somehow you still her say, “Her grave is a few feet from here if you want to see her.” When you open your eyes, she’s gone.

 

“She’s just insane. I was wrong, she needs to be in asylum. Or maybe she’s just fucking with me. There’s no way any of that was real. I-if it wasn’t real, her grave won’t be there right? Because there no way she would know her, and she didn’t know my last name. I’ve never seen her at school before, so she can’t have possibly have known me at all. So she was just trying to scare me...” You walk forward, scanning the names of the graves. You realize that not once had your father taken you to your mother’s grave. You slightly remember being dropped off at someone’s house one day, when your father was dressed in black. For the longest you had even thought you were maybe adopted as well, because your father never mentioned a mother.

 

You cry when you see it. It’s a mossed over grave, but the moonlight shines on the the right side of it. You aren’t sure what to do anymore.

 

______ Egbert

Loving Mother and Wife

A Friend to All She Knew

___ - 19__


	18. Be The Cowardly Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat goes into many shops, with clocks and hotdogs and tea, and lots of advice from a mad girl!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's a chapter because of the snow days! I hope everyone who's caught in the cold storm? snow storm? is warm!!  
> Also this is the first chapter I believe that's it 3000 words! Whoohoo!  
> Also also, I want to say thank you to everyone who kudo-ed (?) and commented! Seriously thanks. I spend a lot of time rereading everyone who gave me kudos and every comment and giggling madly to myself like a maniac. And even more so to the ones who talk about things they liked! So if you want please keep giving me feedback! I LOVE IT. :D  
> OH OK LAST ALSO Pantlesspage approved this I guess. /shrug
> 
> Me: t3rr1 @DA t3rr131 @YouTube terrisberris @Tumblr  
> My Beta: pantlesspage @Tumblr Pantlesspage @Ao3 
> 
> ^That's all if you want to yell at me, or look at my Beta's awesome blog and Ao3 profile

You don’t hear the droning of your mother as she blabs on and on. You zoned out after she started yelling at you when she saw you on Nepeta’s bed. You don’t really see why everything’s such a big deal whenever she sees you. If she wasn’t your mother, you might have thought she hated you. Hah. Who are you kidding? You were a miserable, raccoon-eyed cretin, and not even your own mother wanted to see you. Of course she hated you, even if you were her offspring. 

Ever since you had found her and Nepeta in town a few years back, she had always tried to keep you away from the house. At first you thought it was because it would upset the happy family the the two of them had with your mother’s new husband. But then, after getting to know Nepeta again, you found out your mother was quite the gold-digger. The house was hers though, after stripping some poor sap of his life savings, and leaving him. Almost everything in the house was bought with some boyfriend or ex-husband’s money, you were told in hushed tones. You secretly wondered if you and your father were just one of the people she decided she didn’t need anymore. But the grimace on her face everytime she saw you pretty much confirmed it. You just didn’t have the time to care anymore. These days you tend to not care about much. 

But you do care about Nepeta. You had secretly been crashing in her room every night for the past two weeks. This morning she was fighting to get you to school, like everyday, except you didn’t want to go more than usual. You would flunk out anyway, what was the point? Your absences had been many, and your grades dropped low because of that and you really didn’t give a shit. You were a Junior, somehow, but this had been going on since Freshman year.  
So when she ended up not hearing your mom, trying to get you up and out the house, you both got busted. You somewhat feel bad, but you don’t think she’ll hurt Nepeta. She was, of course, her favorite child. 

“Karkat. Child. Are you even listening to me?”

“No. Yes....no.”

“Has your father known you’ve been over here? Is this some scheme he made up?! Pathetic...”

“He’s too drunk to even realize that I’m his son half the time. It was just me.” She stared at you, obviously seeing the still present bruise marks on your neck from two weeks ago. You knew you should’ve gone to sleep in a turtleneck. She sighed, rubbing the upper bridge of her nose with her two fingers. You somewhat remember thinking that you had once thought she only did that when your father got home. It was a brief, passing thought, and the more you chased it, the blurry it got. Sadly, there was a lot of time you could never remember from when you were younger. You used to pass it off as just, getting older. But sometimes, people you knew from back then would all remember significant events, but you could never seem to remember them. You had been thinking about that a lot too. If maybe, the reason you were such a failure was because of something when you were small. Maybe it was your fault; any of it. 

You look from up at your holey-socked feet, and back at your mother, who’s thinking hard about something. She’s still young looking, even though you figure she’s about in her forties. You’d even say she was beautiful. Nepeta, predictably, got all her looks, and you figured she got a lot of attention. She never told you anything though. You look more like your father than you mother, but you have some of her in you. Enough to remind you who you are from, but not enough for anyone else to know.

“You can’t live with us.”

“I know.”

“I just...Karkat I can’t keep you too. I can barely support me and Neppy.” You think you hear Nepeta inwardly gag. 

“It’s fine. I won’t stay if I’m not wanted.”

“Now I didn’t say that! Don’t go putting words in my mouth.”

“You were thinking it, like every time you see me.”

“You may not live with me anymore, but I am still your mother, and you’d better show me some respect.”

“Like how you respect the fact that I’m living in a house that should be torn down, with a drunken father who has no qualms about beating me bloody? Or how you respect that I could be dying and you’d never take me? Or how after you left me and Father have been practically dead? I don’t even know why you left, but I’m starting to think I was just a bastard child, and Nepeta was just the good outcome out of a bad situat--”

You heard a crack, and your head hit the wall. Your cheek stung, and you were seeing stars. You never wanted to know how it felt to be slapped by your mother. You hear a tremble in her voice as she tells Nepeta to go get your stuff. You think you are beginning to hate your mother too. 

“You don’t know anything,” she tells you, still with a shaky tone, “and I don’t want you back. At all. Stay away from my daughter, and my house. You hear me?! I never want to see you again. If I ever find you crawling your little trashy ass around my house or my daughter, I’m calling the police to haul your ass off. And that’ll be that. They’ll find your father, and they’ll throw you into a Boy’s Home so fast, it’ll knock the color out of you. I’m not calling now, but I should. It’ll be my last of doing something for you.” She took your clothes from Nepeta, who was crying and pleading with her to let you stay. 

“Mama, he’s your son! He’s my brother! Dad’s going to kill him!” She ignored her, and threw them at you. She waited as you gathered them off the ground in silence, and then watched you walk out the door. She stood between you and Nepeta, she wasn’t going to let you say bye.  
“I never loved you. You or your father.”

“I know. No need to fucking tell me twice.” You weren’t upset that she told you she never loved you, you knew that. But because she said she never loved your father, she had finally pissed you off. The first time in a while. 

“I’m serious about Nepeta. Don’t go near her.”

“You aren’t my damn mother anymore, but she is my sister. And she has more sense than you do. Good fucking riddance to you though.” You stomp off, leaving her to watch you walk down her steps, and into the street. You don’t look back, and you stop caring. Caring only makes things worse. 

You ended up walking towards the edge of town; coincidentally, in front of a familiar place. The faint ticking of clocks calms you a bit, and you decide it’s time for a visit. With two sweaters and a pair of jeans under your arm, you walk inside; you aren’t expecting more than just getting out of the cold. The little bell rings as you open the door and walk inside, and you feel instantly out of place. Everything is still organized, and old fashioned, just like it was the last time you were here. You are greeted with that somewhat creepy, but endearing smile as soon as her eyes lay on you. Aradia climbs over the counter, miraculously not knocking over the miniature clock figures, and walks over to hug you. 

“You smell horrible.”

“Well, that’s a nice hello...”

“You don’t sound very Karkat like. You sound depressed. You should take a seat and tell me all about it.”

“You know, when you say that you aren’t supposed to sound like you’re evil and insane. It’s supposed to be comforting. Not creepy as fuck.” She laughed and stepped back a little to look up at you. You remember the last time a girl hugged you like this was when you had taken Terezi out, and you caught her when she slipped. You swallow.

“But, Karkat, I am crazy. Remember?”

“Yeah, I don’t know how I forgot. Oh wait, maybe it’s because for the past few years you haven’t been around any of your fucking best friends!” She let go and sighed, looking away as she scratched her head through her hair. It was almost to her knees. You weren’t sure what she would say if you pointed out she should probably cut it.

“That’s for reasons.” 

“The whole Vriska and Tavros thing is long over, you know. You didn’t have anything to do with that either. It’s not your fault. It’s been years, Aradia. I’m pretty sure your family misses you.” How would you know? It’s not like you had been around them, or knew what a family acted like.

“I never said that’s why I wasn’t back.”

“Then why? Like, yeah you’re partially insane sometimes, but I think you’ve probably always been one of the saner ones.”

“I have things to attend to, a sort of...binding business.” She looks outside, and you can tell she’s not just looking at the rotting tree you kicked before coming in. 

“The shop?”

“Sort of. Anyway, sit down over there. I’ll make some tea. I’ll be the good host.” You do as she says, and sit down at a little wooden table. The yellowing lace tablecloth kind of creeps you out.

“Not that fucking game again. I’m not in the fucking mood.” She hands you a teacup, and you scrape something brown out of it. She assures you it’s only tea leaves. As she starts brewing tea, and tries to find something for you to eat, you tell her about your mom and Nepeta.

“Well, sounds like, your mother was just the bitch I always thought she was.”

“Hey. It’s true, but still.”

“Karkat, in middle school she never showed up when you asked her to go to the orientation, since your dad couldn’t. Honestly, I can understand Mr. Vantas’s situation more than hers. She’s just...a pain. And I feel bad for Nep. I don’t think she cares about her too much either, if she doesn’t even treat you like a living soul.” She pours you tea, and passes a box of cookies to you. But they look more like crackers. You sigh and bite into one.

“These are so damn awful, I think I want to puke.”

“So, what are you going to do now? Go back home?”

“I don’t know. He’ll have probably forgotten everything. All I’ve been doing is going to school and then to mother’s. He might forget who I am, honestly.”

“Why exactly did you leave?”

“He flipped out.”

 

“Why?”

“Because I had someone over.”

“Who?”

“None of your shit-faced business is who.” 

“Why does it matter? Something happened.”

“Are you asking or telling?”

“Stating the facts. You know, I met a boy in the graveyard yesterday.”

“OH MY GOG. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!”

“I don’t think gog is a thing. I didn’t do anything. We talked. I showed him some things he needed to see.”

“You’re going to be arrested one day, you know that? Extra extra! Crazy girl arrested for doing batshit crazy things in graveyard! She may have murdered that one kid we never knew existed! In jail forever!”

“He was cute. Add cute in there. Pretty blue eyes.” 

“No. I don’t give a fuck if you thought whoever was cute. Point is you’re going to be arrested, and I’ll be on t.v. to talk about how I didn’t know you were like that, and then start crying, trying to get someone to adopt my poor ass.”

“Actually, I think you would care about him. How’s Gamzee these days?”

“Uh...ok? I guess? I don’t know. I kinda lost track of him for a while. I mean, he still follows me around and shit, but lately I don’t know. I don’t think he’s been around at all these past few days. Why?”

“He came to see me, you know. He said some interesting things. I’m a little worried.” 

“What?”

“He said you had ‘motherfuckin up and changed’ and that he didn’t know what to do.”

“He’s never talked to anyone before...he honked at Eridan once...”

“We have a...special connection. So, he told me some things.”

“Oh my fucking...what now?”

“There’s someone you need to talk to. Several people. Three to be exact.”

“What? Fuck that.”

“Want me to name them?” You stand up, and grab your clothes off the table. 

“I’m leaving. Thanks for nothing.”

“Karkat, running away and giving up isn’t going to fix things. I’m telling you this as a friend. We are telling you. You need help.” You pause.

“What the hell am I supposed to do Aradia?! My fucking father’s going to end up murdering me one day, the only reason I didn’t die then was because John was there! I can’t go to my mother because she’s a hateful bitch who doesn’t care for her own loin fruits! And I’m practically failing every class in school! There is nothing and no one in this town who is going to help me. I am on my fucking own. I am not running away from anything! I was fucking kicked out! My birth mother actually fucking told me she hates me! You know how that feels?! She hates me! My mother! The one who’s supposed to love you because she’s part of you! How can you say I’m running away?! Terezi left! Sollux fucking abandoned me! Gamzee even left and I thought he was on my side!”

“Then why won’t you let me help you? Why do you keep pushing the people who want to be your friend away?”

“Because! You’re out here! On the edge of town! You can’t help me if you aren’t there! I’ll just be a pathetic lump of shit waiting for you to come save me! And I can’t let anyone be my friend! Because they’re all the fucking same! There’s nothing to fucking friendship except mutual acceptance of the other’s acceptance!”

“What if they aren’t like that?” 

“It’s too fucking dangerous to try that. I’m done fucking with people, and being tossed aside like last month’s tuna and feces casserole! I can’t fucking deal with him anyway after all that happened! He fucking kissed me! I can’t even deal with where I’m going to sleep, never mind who I’m going to be romantically vomitting on when said person is really just using the shit out of me! And I’m just...tired of people...I can’t...I’m just tired of the facades.

“Go to his house. And tell him that. Prove to me you aren’t running away. Leave your stuff here, and come back when you’ve done it.”

“What about the old couple that, you know, actually runs this shop? You don’t own this place, you know. I don’t particuarlly care, but I don’t want old people upset at me.” She stands up and hugs you again.

“It’s fine. They won’t mind. Trust me. And technically, I own the shop, as much work as I do.” She laughed, reached on her tip toes to kiss your cheek. “Now stop crying, you big baby and go settle things.” You are pushed out the door.

You sigh. You don’t even know where his house is. You were just walking around in the cold in the area you saw him walk. You aren’t even sure if it’s the right direction, it was night time and two weeks ago when he left your place. You decide to give up on this ridiculous quest Aradia put you on and go inside the drug store. At least it would be warm. Hopefully. You walk in, and the smell of cheap hotdogs, pizza, and coffee make you hungry. Very hungry. You hadn’t eaten yet, and you were out of cash. You didn’t go to school, so you had no way of swiping something from someone. So you just walked around, at least glad to be out of the cold. You are walking down the cakes aisles, when you bump into a man. 

“Oh, shit, sorry.”

“It’s quite alright, are you hurt?”

“Uh, no. Sorry...”

“Karkat?” Maybe someone was watching out for you somehow. You follow the sound of the high pitched voice behind the man. John was standing behind him, arms crossed, and glasses missing. He stares at you, or rather, he’s probably squinting at you. Seems like he’s as blind as a bat.

“Son, you know this young man?”

“Yes, dad. Stop talking like that. He’s my...um...” You sigh.

“His friend, Mr. Egbert. Nice to meet you.” He smiles down at you, he’s so tall you can barely see his face. He grabs your hand and shakes it, hard. 

“Nice to meet you as well. It’s been a while since my son has made a new friend.”

“Dad.”

“How would you like to come over?”

“Uh...I actually...”  
“Great! You can stay for an early dinner.” You see him turn around, and discreetly smack John’s hand from off the shelf. You wonder what that’s about.

Mr. Egbert walks off, and John walks to you. He shakes his head and looks at you apolegetically. 

“Sorry. He’s been a little off lately. You don’t have to come. Thanks for sticking up for me though.”

“It’s fine...I uh, needed to talk to you about something too. So it works out. So I see you skipped too, huh?” He smiles.

“Yeah, I convinced him I needed an off day to catch up on some work.”

“Sounds like bullshit.”

“It is. Haha...so...why’d you skip?”

“Didn’t feel like going, dipshit. I’m not required to go. Free country.”

“Oh...okay...Um. We should go. He’s done I think.” You follow the Egberts to their house. Somehow, it gave you the same feeling your house gave you. This was either going to be a horrible time, or the awkwardest. Or both.


	19. Not A Chapter But...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a chapter...sorry. PRT 2

I haven't been consistent at sll with the past handful of chapters. I've just gotten back on tumblr and decided I'd get on here as well.  
I am debating on whether or not to continue this fic. I barely scratched the surface, and I still looove it. However, it's been so long.  
My question for you guys is would you want more?  
If yes, lemme know. If no or you don't care then don't even finish reading this and I'll get it. :p  
Leave a comment, pm me, or hit me up on tumblr (terrifins.tumblr.com)  
Thanks!  
And despite what happens I'll probably write a short ending anyway. Thanks for all my readers who stayed with me!! And thanks to my beta!!

PART TWO UPDATING TOMORROW. I HAVE MOST OF THE CHAPTER WRITTEN


	20. Be The Uncomfortable (Blue-Eyed) One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John can't forget the smell of that butt-hand stunk, so he plots his revenge and somehow ends up with Karkat in his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY   
> I FINALLY UPDATED  
> SO LATE  
> I HAVE NO EXCUSES T-T'  
> NO PROMISES BUT I WILL TRY TO UPDATE MORE OFTEN  
> I AM CONTINUING THIS FIC UNTIL THE ENDING I ORIGINALLY HAVE/HAD. SO THERE'S A LOT MORE STORY TO COME. BEAR WITH ME PLEASE.  
> (comments, critiques (?), and pointing out spelling errors is something I'd love for you to do if you wanna <3 )
> 
> YELL AT ME: terrifins @tumblr

“You know, actually you kind of have to go to school Karkat.”   
You grin uneasily at his glare. So much for small talk. You decide that maybe it’s a good idea to leave him alone. Anyway, you have more interesting things to think about. Like why the ever-loving fuck your dad invited Karkat over for dinner. Or what that smell was. Was it Karkat? Something smelled like musk and depression. It also sucked that your dad was chaperoning the two of you walk home. He didn’t trust you with anything anymore, not that he had ever really had the grounds to trust you. But honestly, what would you even do anymore? Since it was just the two of you again, you had more than enough of everything. You didn’t just shoplift and pickpocket (pickhouse?) people for fun. Right?

When you get home, you feel like crying. You won’t, but recently, the silence of the house makes you sad whenever you come home. It makes your breathing shallow and rushed, your face red and your heart ache. It makes you hate your father. It makes you hate the world. It was especially bad because you hadn’t got a phone call from the kids in a week. You were so worried about them you were going insane. Apparently reception was pretty shitty out in the “boonies”, not that you even knew where “the boonies” were. No matter how much you prodded, you weren’t able to find out where they were living. And your dad’s reassurances were not making you feel better. This was the first time you had even heard of other relatives other than Nanna. You knew that yeah, Nanna didn’t just have Dad and then you popped out of thin air. But you figured they just...weren’t around? 

You snap back to reality when Karkat makes a loud, and horribly rude, grunt at you. You glance at your dad, who retreated to the kitchen, his favorite place of late, and you motion for him to follow you upstairs, into your lonely room. The stairs still creak as you walk up them, but the sound of giggles and fearful squeaks is missing. But it feels so nice to hear footsteps behind you, it’s one of your favorite sounds in the world. You push open your door noncommittally and fly to your bed. The new mattress, pillows, and sheets are uncomfortable and you remind yourself again that you have to stop doing that. Six pairs of tiny feet and three tiny bodies aren’t gonna help you break it in. You’ll just have to wait until they can. You sit up and cross your legs as you watch Karkat stand awkwardly in your door frame. You think he looks like shit. 

“You can come in Karkat, I don’t bite.” He grunts and shuffles in.

“Could’ve fooled me with that horrifying pair of buck teeth you’ve got in your sweltering face hole.”

“Gross, Karkat. You could’ve just said hole if you’re trying to insult me. Seriously. And my teeth are charming.”

“As charming as a donkey’s shit covered ass in June.”

“You know, you are in my house. You could be a little nicer. Though obviously that’s a major problem for you but it wouldn’t hurt to tone it down a little.” He crosses his arms and stares at the floor. He stares at it so intensely you wonder if he finds it that interesting. He nods and clears his throat. 

“Sorry. Nervous. Nothing to say.” You laugh awkwardly. He did it. He made it happen. The silent storm of anxious nothingness was upon you, whirling around your room. You invite him to sit beside you on your bed, but he opts for the floor beside you. You flop backwards and stare at your ceiling. You stare at the hard paint, and remember how Roy would constantly break the tips of the paint spikes off while jumping on your bed. You remember how they fell on your face. You sigh. Things sucked. 

“So, um...about your dad...are you ok?”

“Sure. I mean I just live with a drunk psychopath that can barely remember me half the time and when he does he attempts to fucking murder me. I am living the life. I shit rainbow and sunshine. Nothing could ever be better.” You aren’t totally sure he’s being sarcastic or not. He turns his head and you figure he sees the confusion on your face. He sighs. 

“Everything’s fine. It’s fine. It’s normal.” You sit in silence for a while until you decide to try to lighten the mood. 

“So...you never talked to me that Monday. I haven’t even seen you in what, two weeks? Were you off snogging with some hot lady? Or guy. You know, whatever you’re into.” They don’t call you Mr. Smooth for nothing. Okay yeah, only you called yourself that and even you can admit that was horrible.

“No, I haven’t. I’ve been rotting away, trying to think myself into disappearing. And I haven’t smashed faces with anyone because of that fucking tragedy that was Strider sticking his tongue down my ex’s throat.” Ugh. Dave. You were trying not to think about him. He didn’t need anymore attention from you. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that. I’m sorry I had to. Bluh. If it makes you feel better I’m not so happy with him either.”

“Oh yes. That makes it all better. Thanks Egbert, my heart is healed from that Power Rangers band-aid you stuck on my heart. Let’s be best friends now! I’ll get the ceremonial graham-crackers so we can chew them and feed each other like birds before we play “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” and to seal the DEAL on this FRIENDSHIP we’ll chant no homo all day long. Thanks bud.”

You pretty much die laughing. You don’t know why, but you can’t die laughing. You get so out of control that Karkat’s look of horrification eventually melts into minor amusement. His out-of-place smirk makes you continue your giggle fit. You laugh for a good five minutes, (or maybe ten), before you slowly stop. Your stomach and your cheeks hurt, but it feels good. You haven’t laughed like that in what feels like forever. You don’t think he has either. 

“So to celebrate our new friendship, do you wanna gossip about dumb Dave and tongue-y Terezi?”

“No, not really. And by not really I mean absolutely not but it still kinda hurts I guess and I will probably end up sob-storying all over you if you ask again. There’s your warning.”

“Um...so you two were together? At one point..?”

“Yeah. But she dumped me. You don’t have to ask.” You weren’t going to, it was pretty clear. Even to you and you can admit you can be slow to relationship thingamabobs. 

“That sucks.”

“Yes, Egbert, I’m pretty sure I was already aware of that.”

“Well what else can I say? I don’t even know either of you or the situation that well!” He turns to glare at you, but he’s at a loss for words and he kind of let’s his mouth hang open. Haha, he had cute little buckteeth too. You stare at his nubby, pearly whites until he shuts his mouth and looks away. He’s kind of a big baby. A little grumpy kid who’s specialty is pouting at everything and everyone. You kinda think you might be okay with that though. 

“Well, what do you want me to say about it? That she was a total bitch for doing that to you?” 

Glare.

“Um. Dave was a total asshat?” 

Shrug.

“Well, soon after, if it makes you feel better, he tried hitting on me. Again. I guess.” Karkat turns back around and stares wide eyed at you. 

“Strider’s gay?” You wonder if you should tell him the truth, or lie about it in spite.

“Yes. He’s so gay for me.” You lied. 

“So why was he doing the unmentionable thing with Terezi?” You guess that party was the intangible Voldemort. You never read the Harry Potter series, but you picked that up at least. Unless that was wrong. It’s not like anyone was inside your head hearing your every thought and judging you for incorrect references. That would be silly. And also horrifying. And also those people would need to get a life. Especially if there was one who wrote all your thoughts down. That one especially needed some help in their life. 

“I don’t know. But just saying, the thing with Terezi is probably a fling. I wouldn’t worry about it too much, you know? If he hit on me a little while later, I doubt they’ll last long if at all. Seriously, Dave’s never been the best with that kind of stuff.” And neither were you.

“And you know, maybe he isn’t set in stone about having the hots for guys, or girls. Just saying.” You were just too good of a friend to that asshole. Bluh. Butts. BUTTHAND. Maybe you should’ve let Karkat think whatever...

“Well, Egbert, thanks I guess. For that weird, sort-of consolement.”

“You’re welcome!” You cheese and he rolls his eyes in a “I don’t really care but I am bored and you’re somewhat entertaining way”. Maybe things could get better. Maybe since you stopped hanging around with Vriska, and your nose was clean (thanks Dad), you could be friends without feeling guilty. Maybe all you needed to do was make it up to him. In every way possible. And when you did, you would tell him afterwards. When the two of you really are best friends. You were in need of a new one. One day you would have someone you didn’t have to skirt around things in a conversation; someone you could just talk to. Maybe that would be Karkat.


	21. Be The Angry (Brown-Eyed) One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat's palms are sweaty. Mr. Egbert cooked the spaghetti.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop. Look I updated. Haha...IDK if I said this already but just so you know, I'm continuing this fic till the end, but I'm going to update just whenever. :) Feel free to ask questions, leave comments, concerns, or point things out in the comments or at my tumblr (still terrifins). Thanks for reading fellow JK lovers :*

You meekly pass on the hot steaming bowl of spaghetti John’s Dad offers you. You are nervous, your palms are sweaty and if you were standing your knees would probably be weak. You feel like you’re going to lose yourself in a swirl of nausea; you slightly feel like puking. You haven’t been in a “perfect” home environment in so long that it’s all upsetting your nerves. Maybe it wasn’t exactly “old black and white family television show” perfect, but to you it was close enough. John wasn’t making eye contact with his Dad, and he wasn’t eating. He looked pale, but not so much you could really tell, you’re pretty sure he was always bordering that shade of starving-pale. His Dad constantly babbled about fatherly things, like lawns and pipes and colleges, all the while trying to shove plates and bowls of food at the two of you. He bombarded you with questions that you answered in short sentences and nods. You feel bad for Mr. Egbert, he’s clearly struggling with the fact that John is ignoring him and not eating.

It’s kind of annoying to be perfectly honest. John was probably upset over the pettiest little thing, and causing his Dad so much stress. The ungratefulness rubs you the wrong way, because you wish you were in the position to be able to boycott food. You wish your dad would ramble on and on about college and grades. You wish you could even sit down with your dad without the smell of alcohol and an impending beating lingering in the air. You wish you had a dad in the first place.

You excuse yourself.

You fight to keep the scowl off your face. You can’t feel your mouth curving down, but you knew it was most likely there. John’s dad told you the bathroom down the hallway was  available, and you stomp over to it. Not literally. But in your head. In your head you are stomping so loud that this whole situation goes away. You slip in the dirty bathroom littered with what you assume are John’s clothes; most of them are similar to his annoying blue eyes. The mess bothers you, even though you have a plenty dirty house of your own. You slide the clothes away with your foot, then turn your attention to the sink. You turn on the water, relieved that it’s not a sludgy brown when it first comes out. You rub your face with the cold water, and you can feel the skin under your sweater start to rise. You look at your wet face in the mirror, water still running. You look like shit. The bags that you’ve always seemed to have had under your eyes have doubled in their darkness, and you look thinner. You look beaten. You sigh.

You roll up a sweater sleeve, and look at the damage that was still there. You didn’t bruise easily, but they took forever to go away when they were there. How old were these even? You stare up and down your less than appealing arm, and you take in all the fading sickly brown, purple and red spots. You wondered if you would get more before these were gone. You weren’t planning on going back home, but you did need your stuff. And a place to live. Briefly you wonder about the Egbert house. Would they take a piece of shit like you in? Even if you told them your story? Would Mr. Egbert call Children Services or something, and have you put into the system for a year or so? You’ve heard about how that crazy fuckplace is. Maybe if you talked to John...No. Things were already still too weird with him. And that kiss. Maybe he had just been somehow still drunk, but you needed to avoid that at all costs. You had enough drama...and you were kind of pretty sure you were straight for the most part. You rub some cold water on your arm, wipe it on your jeans, which you make a mental note about washing soon, and start leaving the bathroom when you see a weird thing on the floor. Well, you’d seen them before but, only Terezi’s. It was a small, white sports bra looking thing. Along with the LUDE item, okay maybe not lude, but weird and uncomfortable item, you saw a few less than manly (though you couldn’t say John was your definition of a manly man.) bottles lined up on the counter. You thought it was only John and his dad living here, but there was a sister or cousin or something. You’d ask later if you remembered. You decided it was time to “face the music” and cozy up to John to see if you could stay the night. It was too late to head back to Aradia’s and you were so against the risk of running into Vriska or one of her mindless thugs. All you needed was to get beat up, or worse, just because she thought it’d entertain her step-sister. You hoped it didn’t. But you weren’t allowing yourself to think about that, you had already done that for two vague weeks you can’t remember anything about.

Walking out the bathroom, you think of how you would approach asking to sleeping over. The only thing you could think of was to tell John the truth, he’d seen your dad. Maybe he’d understand and ask his dad for you. But even if he knew, you didn’t like admitting to it; the fact that there was a serious issue with him. Yeah, your dad was a violent, alcoholic-fuck, but he was still yours, in a way. He was more like your problem than your father. You know at one time he had taken care of you, when you were little. And when it was you, your mom, sister, and him, he was the strength of the house. He brought in the money so your mom could go to school take care of you and Nepeta, and made sure to dole out piggy back rides and hugs daily. He was the father you saw on tv. He was all you knew and wanted. After your mom and sister left, things changed, and he changed into someone else. Like someone just took over his body, and they were too lost and confused to go back to where he came from. Sometimes you think he looks familiar when he stares at the torn up family picture he keeps hidden in a drawer in the kitchen. To this day you still blame your mother for leaving and breaking both of you, but you are not convinced that her coming back would fix things.

Mr. Egbert is washing dishes by himself in the kitchen when you return. He’s turned partially turned away from you, and he’s mumbling to himself. You strain to hear, but it sounds only like vague, muffled nothings. You acknowledge your ears’ ‘fuck you’ for trying to listen in on the man’s personal business. You walk in and make a weird noise in your throat to get his attention. He slightly jumps, barely visible, but turns his head towards you.

“Hey Mr. Egbert..” Wow, you are stuttering now? You think of a comment, but push it far away because it’s way too insensitive.

“John is upstairs in his room.” You nod but before you leave you push in the chair you used and handed him John’s full, forgotten plate. He slowly takes it from you, stares at it, and then scrapes the untouched dinner down into the small trashcan.

“I left it, just in case he wanted to eat it later. I suppose I already know he won’t. I shouldn’t be acting so silly. Thank you.” You hurry the fuck up the stairs.

You twist the door knob so fast it snaps back when you release it, and you step into John’s room. Thankfully you got lost on the way up, John was finishing sliding a shirt down his really thin self. You wondered if it was from not eating. You got angrier. He hears you, spinning around with a slightly redder face than usual. He smiles and you hold back for slugging him in the face.

“Oh. Geez Karkat. You have no manners at all huh? Like, I knew you were rude, but not rude enough just to rush into someone’s room like that!” You’d rather go home and deal with your father than spend the night with this fuckwad.

“John.”

“Oh, yeah. Dad said you could stay over. Actually I think he wants you to stay over more than anything. Probably so he can interrogate you about me tomorrow. Sorry. You can go home...? I guess...or maybe you should stay...” In your head, you think about how much of an ungrateful little shit this too tall, too blue eyed brat is.

“At least your dad cares enough to actually want to know what’s going on in your quiet, Ghandi acting self.”

“What?”

“Your dad is down there washing the dishes, being all sad and shit because his son is throwing a fucking temper tantrum and refusing to eat the food he fucking worked for and cooked for you. And you sat there the entire time and just ignored him and starved yourself. Like are you kidding me? Do you know how much I would give just for my father to even RECOGNIZE me half the time? Or at least not try to kill me?!” John’s eyebrows bunched up, making his cheery face darker and foreign to you. You didn’t know him that well, but he’d always been smiling whenever you saw him. It threw you off a bit.

“Karkat, I’m sorry about your dad, but you don’t understand what’s going on here, so stop. I don’t need to go into this with you. This is our business, so stay out of it.” He turned back around, sat on his bed and started pulling off his socks.

“This is my damn business. You invited me into your home, and then I have to deal with the ever-fucking-looming teenage drama that is your protesting against what?! Your parent cooking and cleaning up after you?! Or maybe it was the fact that he was actually interested in your day? Oh. Oh. Maybe it was all the worrying he was doing about your future. Ah. Yes. That’s so it. Geez. He’s such a horrible fucking person. I’d hate to have that kind of a father. I couldn’t handle a father that was sober and peaceful when I was being an idiot!” John slams down the pair of glasses he was taking off on his bedside table. The snap of the glasses dot the exclamation point of his anger.

“Don’t you think I know that?! That I’m a shitty son! I know! Every time I look at him, I know! But I need to do this! I can’t let him make everything okay and perfect after he sent them away! It’s not my damn fault. It’s his. I did what I had to and I kept them alive and going. They might not have been thriving but they were alive. They had food to eat, and I LOVED them! They were my only fucking reason for living! The only fucking thing that kept me waking up in the morning and going through my day! And he took them away! For WHAT?! WHO KNOWS! ALL I KNOW IS HE WAS ALMOST ABSENT FROM OUR LIVES BEFORE HE TORE US APART. SO DON’T YOU FUCKING ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WHEN I DON’T AND I LIVE IN HIS DAMN HOUSE. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!” He shoves you out with a force you could fight against, but wouldn’t and he slams the door behind you.

You and your spinning head trudge down the dark, carpeted steps, and you hear a door creak and shut in the darkness. You head over to the door to leave, assuming you’ll have to take your chances out on the street. Your eye catches a glimpse of the ratty, white couch by the door. Laid on top is a folded quilt, a pillow, and a long tee-shirt. You feel more guilt than you have in a while.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the bad spelling/format :1


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